Illusion blends with...

TWTW Part 20: The Funeral Part 3/3 "The End"

2007-03-31T18:28:57Z

"...I love you." Kara spoke softly as their eyes locked onto each others. She was looking into his soul and seeing the man she truly cared for. She was seeing the one she wished she could have. But this was what they both knew had been coming. They both knew that it just couldn't be. They could come up with a thousand reasons why they should be together, but then they'd come up with a million excuses for why they shouldn't. It was as if they were pushed together by attraction, sexual tension, and love, but pulled apart by pain, tragedy, and fear. They could overcome the world but they could not overcome each other. Neither believed they were good for the other. Kara knew, in her heart, she would destroy Lee. He was too good a man and she couldn't be selfish and take that away from him. Lee knew Kara was destined for greatness; that the world would not hold her back. He didn't want to be the one to hold her back.

Lee turned to face Kara. He looked down at her and saw her suffering and pain. He wished, more than anything, that he could love her and be with her. Lee wrapped his arms around her and breathed her in slowly. She placed her fingertips onto his back and rested her chin into his chest. A single tear fell down her face but she made no noise. Their breathing was shallow and seemed to be in unison. In that moment, they became one. Lee turned his lips to her head and gently kissed it. "I love you, too." Their warm embrace drove away all the cold emotion of the funeral. The sun seemed brighter, the air seemed warmer, everything felt right. Nothing is as it seems though. Nothing is ever wrong but nothing is ever right.

Kara pulled herself away from him and wiped away her tear. She looked away, unable to look him in the eyes to say goodbye. How she wished things could be different. How she hoped that everything would one day work out and they could find a way to be together. Fate played them for fools and brought them to this point, the point of no return. "And I always will but you and I both know we can't do this. We can't."

She walked over to the bench where she had spoke to Bill an hour earlier. She sat down upon it and looked at all the graves in the cemetary; the ones with flowers and the ones without. The people forgotten and the people still loved. Kara hadn't visited her mother's grave since her funeral. She felt terrible, as if she had been a frak-up in her mother's eyes and that she was shaming her everyday she messed up. She didn't want to do the same thing to Zak. She promised herself she would visit his grave. She promised herself that she would not forget him. Kara didn't want to shame his memory by being with Lee. Betraying his lost life by forgetting him. She placed her head in her hands and let out a sigh.

Lee sat down besides her and put his hand upon her lap. She was vulnerable, distraught, guilt-ridden. He wanted to help her. It was then he realized that this was the closest he had really ever been with Kara. Sex was just a physical connection. It sometimes meant more but this was the closest, emotionally, he had ever been to her. She had a wall that seemed unbreakable but he had found his way in. He had gotten to her, gotten under her skin. Lee had become her drug. She craved a fix. She needed his touch. Kara couldn't push him away completely. She wanted one more hit but she resisted. She fought herself. Head vs. heart. For once, her head was winning.

Kara laughed and Lee looked at her confused. He failed to find anything humorous. He stared blankly at her. Kara turned to face him with a big goofy grin on her face. "Do you think it would have worked? If I hadn't--" She started but Lee cut in.

"Kara, we can't live in the if's and and's. What is just is. We can't undo what's been done. I wish we could. I wish I would have told you how I felt. I wish things were different but they aren't and they can't be. We're stuck. Trapped by things we couldn't control." Lee looked down at his feet and closed his eyes.

"Sucks." Kara giggled, trying to make light of the situation. Lee chuckled with her. "Promise me one thing, Lee." She looked at him.

He raised his head and looked at her with sincere eyes. "Anything."

She smiled, "Just always be my friend. Promise me that. That you'll always be my friend." She turned away from him. "I know I'm a mess. I screw up. I hurt people. I fight with them for no reason. Just promise me you won't leave." She looked at him, "Promise me we'll always be okay." Kara extended her hand to him. "Friends?"

Lee looked at her hand and resisted a frown. He knew that they would never be just friends. She knew they would never be just friends. You can't be just friends. They'll fight and they'll frak and they'll love but they can't go back to the beginning. Lee was right about one thing, things can't be undone. They'll never be as they were. They'll always be tainted by past memories. The taste of her lips, the scent of her hair. The touch of his skin, the warmth of his smile. The feelings would not just disappear. They'd be ever present. They'll pretend to be friends, but that's not all they'll be. That's something they can never be. He grabbed her hand and smiled. "Friends."

A lie. A lie they both desparately clung to. They knew they should let go of the hope they had. They should resist the feelings but neither could let go. Both of them held onto the hope and clung to the dream. They loved each other too much to just walk away completely. The feelings wouldn't disappear. Every night spent with another would be a night they longed to feel the sun again. Every time they laid in the bed of another, they'd feel the cold. Only together would the warmth return. They were nowhere warm. They were no where at all. The vivid colors disappeared. The light became cold once again.

Kara stood up and smiled at Lee. "Bye, Captain."

"Bye, Lt."

They'll never be friends. They can never be just friends.The moment she walked away, his heart stopped beating. The moment she left him, the world felt darker.

THE END

Sequel story: Beautiful Oblivion

TWTW P2 19: The Funeral Pt2 "Goodbye to You"

2007-03-31T02:26:42Z

The picture of the deceased Zak Adama sat in a plastic black frame upon a stand to the left of the white casket where he would be laid to rest. All that remains of him now is the distant memory of his face and the sharp sound of his name. One day, there will be nothing but a blurred face of a handsome man lost in an accident. He'll become one of the lost who drift to a place of the forgotten. His passing was saddening. The faces of all the funeral attendees were filled with grief and sorrow. Not one wore a smile and not one showed a glint of happiness. The grass was a beautiful green that glowed as the sun beat down upon it. The wind was nice and cool as the trees rustled about yet the air wreaked of pain and despair. Not a person there looked to the greater purpose; that the gods have an unseen plan. Men are not gods. They don't see the purpose so they search for a reason. Their final conclusion is that it just is. But it isn't. It is never is as it seems. There is more to everything but we just don't know it. We don't see the meaning and so we cry and we curse the gods but we don't see. Zak's death served a higher purpose. His death brought Kara to Bill Adama and Bill Adama transferred her aboard the Battlestar Galactica. In two years, the cylons would come in and overrun all that was once considered home. But because of Zak's untimely passing, Kara would be safe aboard the Battlestar Galactica. We cannot see the future therefore we do not see the purpose.

Kara silently walked towards the burial site. Her feet lightly touched the ground as if one wrong step would result in her falling into the dirt and being buried beneath the grounds of time. Her soul was slipping and her mind was racing. She couldn't bear to be around the man she considered a father in front of the grave of his son, who she felt, she had killed. Though she hadn't put a gun to his temple and shot him, she felt as if she had. That by her passing him, she killed him. She was to blame. Her. No one else but her. The noise of the sobbing people around her crushed her inside. She wished she could run away but she knew she could never forgive herself if she did. She knew that this is where she should be. This was where she belonged. All her past mistakes were before her now and she had to face them. She had to face the one man she loved and face the one she had lost. She wished she could disappear and fade into wind. The cold light of day beat down upon her. She felt no heat. She felt no warmth. Lost. She was lost in herself; washed away in the harsh tides.

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Lee stepped out of a black car. His black shoes clapped down as they hit contact with the tar ground. He squinted at the bright light. It was a drastic change from the darkness in the car. Lee turned around and extended his hand out to his mother. She clasped tightly onto his arm and pulled herself up. She was drunk. Her eye liner was streaming down her face with her tears. Little black rivers of sorrow running down her face. Lee was hurting, sad, broken. His brother was gone and he blamed all of this on his father. He knew why Zak was in the military. He knew how he had come that far. He needed someone to shovel his guilt onto. Kara and his tryst in the park was like a stab in the back to Zak. He felt bad and felt guilty. He felt as if he had let down his brother and now he could never apologize. Ashamed. He was ashamed and he wanted to push all of that onto his dad. He wanted to hate Bill and blame him for something that neither of them could have seen coming. It was irrational but that's how Lee could live with himself. That was how he got by.

He held his mother onto his arm and slowly slipped away into his mind as they walked towards the funeral site. He hated his mother just as much as he hated his father but for different reasons. His father emotionally abused him and his mother physically abused him. Part of the reason he had always been envious of Zak was because he was their mother's favorite. She loved him and she hurt him less. Lee being the older brother, tried to step in and take most of the abuse. He took the hits to spare his brother yet Zak still got the girl in the end. Zak swooped in and stole her away. He couldn't help but be angry with his brother for passing away. It wasn't his fault. He knew that Zak didn't want to die. But Zak's death took away any chance he ever had with Kara. He loved her so much but he knew she would shut him out. He knew she would push him away. He wished he could be anywhere but here. He couldn't bare to be around her and not be able to touch her. He felt terrible that he was at his brother's funeral and still wanted her. He was going to be around three people in the world he could never stand up to. Surrounded by the people he loved the most in the world yet hated them just as much: his mother, his father, and the love of his life.

--------

Kara's feet planted themselves down besides Zak's grave and a look of forlorn crossed her face. Empty. She was slowly losing herself. She felt as if she could just lay down in the dirt and allow them to bury her alive. So much guilt and so much blame. This burden was weighing her down and the pressure was crushing her. Her secrets were like a necklace around her throat that slowly turned her blue. Choking her. Killing her. Being around all these people mourning Zak's loss completely destroyed her. She was silent yet inside she was screaming. She was bleeding internally so no one could see. She had lost her mother, never really knew her father, killed her lover, and abandoned another. What was she? Was she destined to frak up? Was she meant to hurt everyone around her? She couldn't help but feel helpless. She could take on the world but she couldn't face down herself. The mirror was her enemy and Zak was the one who had broken it. She knew she shouldn't have let him in and look what her weakness and brought. Pain, grief, sorrow, tears.

Nothing good in this life lasts. Sex, anger, hate, love, life, it's all just moments. It's just minutes. I live for the moments that make me happy and die for the ones that make me cry. I mess up and I hurt people around me. But I don't just hurt them, I hurt the others who care about them. I break myself constantly and try to pick back up my broken pieces. I'm better off alone. I can't hurt anyone that way. I can't destroy anyone else. I live for this moment. These moments. This breath. This second. This is life. This is it's meaning. We don't live based around our good times and bad. We live on the moments that make us happy. We breathe in the moments that took our breath away. That's what we hold onto. That's all I have left to cling to. I break yet I tape myself together. My scars are there to remind me that I have to hold on. I can't let go. I can't slip away and lose myself again. I can't be weak. Isn't that what Momma taught me? Weakness was bad. She was right. My weakness brought on the death of another. Weakness. I can't be weak. I can't give into Lee. I have to stay strong. I'll break myself to save him, but I won't be weak. Kara thought to herself. She was about to commit suicide of the soul. She was going to let go of the one of the last things she had so desparately clung to. Something she believed would work out in the end. It was what kept her going but now it was the one thing that brought her down.

-----

Lee arrived at the funeral site with his mother still clasping onto his arm. He stood across from Kara and stared into her. Her eyes were down and she appeared to be drowning in thought. He could see she was fighting back tears and all he wanted to do was tell her it would be okay. He wanted to tell her it was alright. It was in that moment that Lee knew what had to be done. He knew that they had to part ways. If something is meant to be, it will work out in the end. He couldn't do this to her. He wanted her but it was selfish. She was hurt, broken, torn. For him to be with her now, he felt like he would be taking advantage of her in her current state. That's not who he was. That's not something he could do. It would kill him, but he had to do it. He had to let her go.

--------------

The funeral began but both Lee and Kara were lost in thought. Minutes passed. Time felt as if it had stopped. Lee was motioned to place his brother's pins down upon the coffin. He slowly stepped away from his mother and placed his down upon the coffin top. He didn't immediately move his hand. This was his final goodbye to his brother. Their final parting of ways. He turned his head down and looked away. Slowly, he turned back around and held onto his mother. The coffin descended into the ground making a clicking sound every foot it dropped.

Kara snapped at the sound. A tear fell down her eye and Bill held her hand. Her eyes watered up as Zak was placed down beneath the ground. A fallen friend, a beaten brother, and a lost lover. He was dead to the world yet his prescence lingered about. The crowd began to disperse and Lee's mother ran off. Bill let go of Kara's hand and gave her a warm, comforting smile. He went after his ex-wife leaving Kara and Lee alone.

Lee looked up at Kara and made his way towards her. He stood by her side but she didn't look up. She had her eyes fixated on Zak's grave and his eyes were focused on Kara's beauty. They were silent but both of them knew what was coming. Both of them knew that this was the bitter end.

Kara darted her eyes in his direction and slightly opened her mouth. A tear fell down her cheek and Lee immediately brushed it away with his hand. She closed her eyes, unable to looked at him. "Lee..."

To Be Continued.

TWTW: The End [Part 18] (Part 1 of 3) "The Funeral: A World Built Upon Tears"

2007-03-21T05:51:33Z

The light of the sun cast a shining glow of white that fell through the trees and snuck past the green leaves. The sneaking light fell down upon the freshly dug soil where the casket of Zak Adama was to be laid. The air smelt of death as the funeral attendees started exiting their cars with gloomy eyes and sorrowful faces. Such a beatiful scenery but the mood tragic. The wind rustled the leaves and a single leaf fell down upon the freshly cut, green grass. The noise of car doors slamming were the only noises made besides the sobbing cries of the women making their way across the street.

Kara was sitting down upon a stone bench with her hands placed on her lap. She was sitting before a grave not yet old from years of wasting in the cemetary. It was a newer stone, a newer grave. It lay beneath a tree, lost in the shadows. A tear slipped down her face as she read and reread the epitaph upon it. Bill silently made his way over to her and read what the epitaph said. He heaved out a long sigh. Kara already knew he was there and wiped the tear from her eye. Bill sat down besides Kara and placed his hands on her shoulders to console her.

Kara smiled a fake smile. She was trying to convince Bill she was okay but she couldn't even convince herself she was okay. She cleared her throat, searching for the right words to say. Death steals the breath of the youth and the elderly. It has a way of stealing the breath of those left living. Kara felt the pain to breathe. She had been unfaithful to Zak. Her guilt still racked her mind. It pained her to think of the pleasures she had sought and who it was she had sought them from. She hung her head and opened her mouth, exhaling slowly; sadly. Another tear found it's way down her cheek. It slipped down her lips and fell to the ground.

Maybe the grass had not been made green and fresh by the water from the sprinklers. Maybe the green is caused by the tears of those who come here to mourn and grieve for their lost loves or their lost friends. Maybe in this world, we recieve and we have things stolen. We take our blessings and recieve the curses. For everything to continue forth and not stop, we must lose. We must gain and then have something taken. A cycle. An endless circle. Our tears replenish the world from which we are born. We continue this cycle. We live and we lose. We all will die one day. It's only what we do in this day that defines us. Will we be remembered forever? Will our lives have some importance in the world around us? Or will we greatly impact the life of someone else who will in turn impact the life of another and so on and so forth so that they will do something that will change the world? Maybe we just don't know yet the importance of the decisions we make. We don't see that the outcomes that affect those around us, may one day affect others we will never meet in our lifetime. Kara thought silently to herself. The words in her head could not be spoken. She was still stuck in between a land of living and a land of the living dead; those struck with grief, holding onto that which should be let go.

"It's true. What it says about her." She laughed. "Fierce and firey. Heart of stone but caring." Another tear fell down upon the green grass. Another tear to build the world upon. "Almost everyone dies before they have actually lived." She turned her head in Bill's direction and smiled, "Do you believe in the Gods, sir?" Her eyes showed a longing for someone to be her friend in her time of need.

Bill was more than willing to comply. He wanted to be a father to her. A missing part of her life now found. A lost part of his life now regained. His son was dead, to be buried in the dirt today yet he had found something, someone, who was lost and he had taken her under his wing. He wanted to help her. He wanted to guide her. He wanted to be like a father to this poor lost girl who had been misguided, mistreated, and had lost so much. He looked into her eyes and he saw her potential. She was special. She was destined for more than a life of pain and grief. She was destined for greatness.

"Not really. I'm more of--a skeptic." He chuckled and Kara giggled. "And don't call me sir." He gave her a warm smile.

All her life she had longed for acceptance from someone, anyone. She had for so long wanted a lover to love her unconditionally, yet he had wound up dead and she had feared that Lee would be soon to follow were he to be with her. But Bill, he was like the dad she had not gotten to know well. Her father had left when she was young. Too young to remember. Kara always dreamed he'd come and rescue her from the cruelty of her mother. She had convinced herself he had left because of her and with the child abuse and that, she hated her mother. Despised her. Yet she loved her. Her twisted sense of life had made Kara stronger. She only ever wanted her approval. She wanted to hear her mother say she was proud of her. Never did those words spill from her cold lips. Her mother had destroyed her and yet had made her into a warrior. Fearless of all except one thing. One thing was she terrified of: Death. And now here she was in a cemetary.

"I believe in the gods. I try to. I have to believe that there is a reason for why people die before their time. There has to be a reason for it. If I don't have this belief...." Her head fell and her eyes looked down to her hands. Her hands reminding her of the fractures, the breaks, the pain. "...then I have nothing. I have to have faith. Hope. That's what keeps me going in the face of the unknown. Hope of survival. Hope that you can overcome all that life throws at you. In my case, I tend to handle things wrong but that's not the point." Kara laughed and Bill smiled. "I learned a long time ago that life is hard and I learned that crying solved nothing. It didn't bring the dead back to life. It didn't change the things that made me cry. I got tired of feeling sorry for myself. Sure, I substituted alcohol for tears but I at least learned to be stronger. And I think everything happens for a reason. If I hadn't made that switch from tears to alcohol, I would have never gone to a bar to drink myself away. I would have never met a man with the last name Adama. And though he's now gone, he left me with someone else to call friend." She smiled at Bill. "He also showed me that I could be loved and that I could accept that love. Loved ones never leave us slowly. They leave us as fast as they came with nothing but shattered dreams and broken memories. And now, my acceptance is gone and I don't know if I can accept that love again from any other."

Bill wiped the tears from her cheek and tried to fight back his own. "I always wanted a daughter. Someone who I could be protective over. Someone who would bring home the wrong guys and I would disapprove of. I could shoot my death glares at him at the dinner table and tell her that she deserves better. Someone to be my little girl. My wife believed, both times, that she was going to have a girl. So both times, I expected to have a girl. Both times it was a boy. I was never disappointed. I was blessed with two sons but I still wish we could have gone for three. Third ones the charm." He smiled. "I guess that if the gods are who are pulling the strings, then I'll believe in that for my son may be gone but he has left me with a new gift. He has left me with you." He smiled. "I've only known you for a short time but I care for you, Kara. Your a vital part of the crew and you've become family to me. The gods have taken and now I have been given something else. Something unexpected yet appreciated nonetheless." He leaned in and hugged Kara who gingerly stuck her fingers on his shoulder, tears welling within her eyes.

In this moment, she had gained after a great loss. A balance restored. Recieved after a taking. She had wanted someone to believe in her. She needed someone to believe in. She had found it. Though she had thought that it would be the man she would one day call husband, it wasn't the case. She had found the man she would one day consider a father. A man that believed in her. A man to love her like a daughter and care for her like a father would. He would be the man that would tell her she deserved better. The man that would scare away the undeserving men. She had found her light in her dark hour.

The wind rustled the leaves and a single leaf wafted along with the wind. The leaf gently glided to the tombstone which Kara and Bill had been looking at. The words were engraved in the stone "Socrata Thrace. Devoted Mother. One Hell Of A Woman. She'll Never Be Forgotten." Bill stood up and patted Kara's shoulder before heading off in the direction of the priest. Today was a mournful day but it her conversation with Bill had lightened the burdens upon her soul.

She looked down at her damaged hands. Maybe some scars will never be forgotten but maybe they can heal. They'll heal but the signs of the damage will always remain. My scars may one day be fixed. May one day be healed. They could be helped but never forgotten. Maybe the damage done could one day lessen and my heart will love again. You gave me this gift, Zak and for that, I am forever grateful. If I could tell you just one thing. It's that I'll be okay and that you shouldn't worry about me. Worrying is wasteful and useless because I'll be okay. I'll be fine. I won't drown myself with tears of despair over your untimely departure. I'll have faith in the plans the gods have laid and I will believe that this is the way it was meant to be. Though I miss you, I'll be okay. I'll never forget you. I am not broken. I am damaged. Death visited me and stole away your life. I'll live my life out for the both of us. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry about my infedelities. I'm sorry I couldn't remain yours. With these damaged hands, this damaged soul, I will live without worry. I will live without care. You helped free me from some of the constrictions of my life. Thank you. I love you. A tear fell down her face as she fell to her knees and slowly crawled to her mother's grave.

Momma, I'm sorry for leaving you alone. I'm sorry for abandoning you. I never meant what I said. I was upset. Upset that all I ever did was never enough for you. I was angered over you never saying you were proud of my accomplishments. You constantly belittled and beat me. I want to believe that there was a reason for this. You made me stronger. Your passing has helped me deal with Zak's but I can't accept your death. I was afraid. Afraid that I couldn't bear to see you die. I've never watched anyone die. I've seen the bodies but I've never watched someone's life leave them in a single breath. I wasn't strong enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I don't make you proud. I loved you though. Despite your cruelty, I loved you more than you may ever know. You were a bitch, but you were my mom. You raised me. You supported me. Though you beat me, I want to believe you loved me. Kara ran her hands across the cold tombstone and closed her eyes. "Momma?" She whispered softly. "Did you ever love me?"

The wind blew through the trees. Maybe the wind whispers the secrets of others yet it's whispers are too silent to be heard. Maybe the dead try to speak to us through the wind. Words we can't cling to from people we can't even see. The departed are like the wind. They are ever present yet never seen. We exist because of them. Kara's words were whispered into the wind and were only heard by the trees. If a tree could speak, imagine the wonders it would speak of. Imagine the murders and lies it has heard. But some things should remain unheard. And maybe some things are left to be unknown.

A tear fell down Kara's face. It's a sad world. A world where the people are their own worst enemies and the murderers make sense. A crazy world where people kill for the shoes on another's feet. Where the good die young and the evil lives on. The tears cleanse the world. Such a sorrowful thing. A world built upon tears.

TWTW Part 17 "Guilt"

2007-03-18T05:56:06Z

Kara was talking to one of the deck hands who had removed Zak's body from the cock pit of the burning viper. His hands were covered in blood. Zak's blood. Kara had to turn away from him in order to stop herself from breaking down again. He was talking but his voice was coming in and out. She could hardly hear him talking anymore; his mouth moved but the words were drowned out. "...morgue...Adama...." His voice cut in and out through her drifting mind. The words she did hear were like knives being jabbed into her already damaged heart. She shook her head and said nothing. The man gave her a consoling look. One of those looks where the person thinks they know what your going through and feels bad for you. A fake gesture of caring. A look seen so much yet rarely meant.

The deck hand sighed and left Kara alone. She turned her eyes to the ground when she saw two black shoes in front of her. Her eyes darted upward and found a man taller than she, standing before her. He was in uniform; commander's pins upon his collar. He wore a grieved expression and Kara immediately knew who this man was. She stood up straight and saluted him. The way your supposed to greet your commanding officer, even if it is your deceased fiance's father. He waved her off and she put down her hand. Both stared at each other. Kara couldn't begin and Bill didn't know where to. Kara moved her lips but found herself speechless.

Bill cleared his throat and began to clean his glasses; a trick to avoid eye contact and break the awkward setting. "You are Lt. Kara Thrace?" He questioned as he continued to rub his shirt across his glasses.

She sighed and tried to search for her lost voice. Quietly, she spoke, "Yes, sir." She looked down to his hands.

"Zak mentioned you. He spoke highly of you. He wrote me a letter and I was hoping you could explain to me what he meant when he said he had a surprise to tell me." His voice was stern and his eyes calm. He knew what it was but he wanted her to tell him.

"We were..." Her voice trailed off and she crossed her arms, about to begin again. "We were---"

"You were engaged. Weren't you?"

She cleared her throat once again. Her voice a little louder this time, "Yes. I just...I know it was against.." She turned her head to the wall on her left. She couldn't look him in the eyes.

"He loved you deeply. I can see you felt the same way." Bill looked about ready to break down too. His eyes looked as if he had been crying prior to his arrival on the air base.

Both of these people, the ones closest to Zak, felt overwhelming guilt for their actions. Kara's guilt came from the "favor" she had done for Zak. She had let him pass and that had been his undoing. She had slept with Lee, his own brother, and that was a betrayal. She had been unfaithful. Her pain was greater because of this. What if she had left him and then he had just died thinking that she never truly cared for him? She had made another mess again. She had frakked up again. What was she going to do about Lee? She cared too much to drag him down with her. Her track record with people was terrible. Her mother dead, her father gone, her lover dead...

Bill's guilt came from the strings he had pulled to even get his son into flight school. He knew Zak was not the best at flying but he had so desparately clung to the dream of seeing both his sons in uniform that he couldn't fathom a world without it. He had bribed people, given money, done things, just to see his son advance and be able to even get permitted that far. Guilt. His guilt came from this. Bill had gotten his son to that point, and Kara's 'impaired' judgement had left them where they were right now. On a base, next to a burned viper, in an awkward conversation.

Kara broke the deafening silence, "This really isn't how I pictured meeting you." She chuckled and lightened the gloomy mood a bit. Her best efforts failed her. Her face fell as fast as the smile had come.

Bill tried to smile too but he found this task difficult. "I would like to talk to you over coffee. I think there are a lot of things we should discuss." He was speaking in a friendly tone. He was trying and Kara saw this. But at the same time, Bill wanted to be closer to this woman. This was the woman Zak had lived the past year of his life with. This was the woman who Zak wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He felt that if he got closer to her, he could get closer to his departed son. He could find the vestiges left and cling onto that. The living will always find it hard to part with the dead. Bill felt even more guilty over his real motives for trying to get closer to Kara. His selfish reason.

"Sure." She smiled but she was trying so hard to just keep it together. A tear fell down her face. A small stream reflecting her guilt.

In this moment, Bill was finally seeing how much Kara had truly cared about his son. This emotion, this pain, it broke him inside. His soul was lying in the morgue on the slab next to Zak's. He stepped closer to Kara and her eyes locked with his. Even if his reason for trying to get closer to her was to feel closer to Zak, he still felt this connection with Kara. A connection he couldn't explain. This hurt little girl already felt like part of his family. He pulled his arms around her and held her in his tight embrace.

Kara too felt this connection to this man. Though they had only just met, he too felt like family to her. "I'm sorry." She pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes. Though Bill assumed she was apologizing over the tears she had just shed, she was really apologizing for being a big factor in Zak's death.

"Don't be. It's okay. I understand." He had been uncertain about asking her a question, but seeing her like this, seeing her now, he knew what to do. "I would like to have you transfer aboard the Battlestar Galactica. I think it may be too much to have to make you work on this base now. I was also thinking about taking a few others such as Karl Agathon."

What was there left for her now? Her fiance was dead. Her mother had been dead to her long before her actual passing. Lee was a living embodiment of her guilt. Not to mention he was still with Lindsay. Her apartment was crap and wouldn't be missed. The air base housed too many memories that she knew would haunt her. She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. "Yes, sir. I'd like to join the Galactica crew."

Occupation fanfic Part 1 "So It Begins: Day One, Hour One"

2007-03-11T06:31:17Z

The faces were swept over with fear as the metal feet clapped the dirt ground. Not a person spoke. Everyone stood in horror. Everyone cowered or was overcome with shock. Always a possibility but never did anyone think it would come to pass. Cylon occupation. Extermination: an almost certain end for all trapped on New Caprica now. New Caprica had been the place of promise, the paradise land with dreary skies and unbearably cold weather. It was their safe haven, despite its unappealing qualities. It was a place to call home and that was enough for the people who had spent years confined to the inside of ships with dull gray walls and constant night skies. This place had become home and this home had enemies stepping upon its soil.

Centurions now paraded through the street, the light of the sun reflecting off their metal exterior. No one dared to try anything right now for it would probably result in someone's untimely death. This someone would probably be human rather than toaster. The only noise was that of shallow breathing and the zooming raiders that flew overhead in the cloudy skies. They were trapped. They were in a hopeless position. Fight and die. Live and suffer. The only options. Everyone on New Caprica knew that the silent skies could only mean that Galactica and the rest of the fleet jumped to safety. Over 30,000 men, women, and children were now in the hands of the cylons. This place once called home was now enemy terroritory. They were no longer safe. They were behind enemy lines.

Kara had rushed out of the grounded raptor when she heard the beeping of the com. link indicating that the comms were being jammed. Her eyes closed as she cringed to the familiar noise of the cylon raiders overhead. It had been a year, but the noise to her was like that of nails on a chalkboard. She stood out by the dirt path and watched as the things she had for so long wanted dead, now stood before her. She looked at them with distaste, disgust, hate. These things were evil. Sin. They committed genocide and tried to wipe out her entire race. She despised them and all they stood for. She had been in their hands before and she swore she would never be again. Too bad some higher power had a different plan. Too bad fate works to its own will and cares not for the wishes of others.

Chief Tyrol and his very pregnant wife, Cally, came and stood beside the hate-consumed Kara. He saw her and knew exactly was she was thinking. Cally clutched her belly and looked on at the terrible sight. Tyrol had let himself go. He had a very scruffy beard and now wore glasses. He had been, for the past few months, the head of a workers union. He detested President Gaius Baltar and how he mistreated the working class. Now it seemed he would take the role of a leader of the Resistance; fighting the good fight. He knew that war never ends. The effects of war linger on and you can not truly rid yourself of your problems by hiding and running away. You must face up to the things you've done. There'll come a day when you can't hide anymore. That day was today.

"What do you want to do, Captain?" Tyrol looked on and watched as Kara stood, her eyes focused intently on the chrome toasters walking before her. She spoke in a deadly, serious tone, "Fight em' till we can't." The centurions marched forward. Then the skinjobs came out. These machines that pretended to be human. These things that altered their appearance to decieve the humans. They were the most pathetic of beings. Unable to cope with the reality that they are machines and they are not, and will never be, human. They walk. They talk. They bleed. They sweat. But they'll never be human. They are programmed. They follow the orders of one another, unable to make a decision on their own. Their free will is wasted. Without free will, can you truly call yourself human? Can you even pretend? The worst deception is self-deception.

Ellen and Tigh were standing on the other side of the path, looking on in the same shock as everyone else. Tigh wore the same face as Kara. His eyes narrowed in on his enemy targets. What he wouldn't do for a gun. He wished he could blow these frakkers away, but his wish was going unanswered. The Six model was walking with a Sharon model, paying no attention to the angry and terrified faces of the people. Saul held Ellen closer to him as she covered mouth with her hand. Am I the luckiest man in the universe or what? I come to New Caprica the day of the cylon occupation...Gods, I could use a drink. Tigh began to turn away with Ellen and head back to a tent when something grabbed him on the shoulder.

Shocked, Tigh turned around to see a Sharon and Doral model standing before him. He laughed at them and waited for them to say something. He just laughed at them. They saw the humans as inferior but he saw the cylons as nothing more than broken toys. "Well, what the frak do you want?" He said between laughs.

Sharon looked down at the ground and Doral smiled. "We'd like you to come with us." He remained completely, eerily calm.

"I don't give a frak about what you like." Tigh turned around and grabbed Ellen's hand. He started to walk away when Doral grabbed him by the shoulder again.

"Well I don't care. Your coming with us." He smiled at Tigh.

Sharon raised her head. She turned her eyes to Tigh and frowned. "Look, just come peacefully. We really don't need innocent blood shed today. Okay?" She crossed her arms and stared at him.

Ellen held Saul's hand tighter and a tear fell from her eye. "No, Saul. No." She began to cry.

He lifted her cheek and smiled. "I'm not going anywhere." Suddenly, Doral punched Tigh in the stomache and motioned for one of the centurions to come over. Saul was on his knees with his hands in the dirt. He began to cough and he glared up at Doral. "What the frak do you expect me to tell you?"

"Where Galactica went. We know that you and your best friend probably worked out some plan in case we ever found you. We want to know what the plan is." Doral picked Saul off the ground and pushed him into the centurion. "Don't hurt him too much. Have him detained."

"Where?" Sharon questioned. "We have no where to put him."

"The centurions have already been ordered to begin creating holding cells. It shouldn't take them too long to have them done. Have him held by Colonial One where Caprica Six and D'Anna will decide where to put him." He smiled at the centurion as the centurion placed it's cold metal hands around Saul's arms.

"There really was no plan." He laughed as he lied through his teeth.

"NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM!" Ellen begged them. Doral hit her and knocked her out.

"We'll just see about that." Doral motioned to the centurion. "Take him away."

Sharon and Doral watched as Saul was "escorted" away. Sharon turned and looked at Doral with sad eyes. "What?" He questioned.

"Do you really think we should be here? They hate us. They'll never want to co-exist. They want us dead and they want to live. I say this is frakking pointless." Sharon turned her head away.

Doral sighed. "Quite possibly."

"Did you see the way they looked at us? Their eyes were filled with anger. All of them would kill us if given the chance."

"Yes, but we are in control here. Don't worry." Doral smiled at Sharon and both he and her walked off.

Kara, Tyrol, and Cally had re-entered the tent where Chief had been inciting a riot only an hour earlier. None of them had seen what had happed with Tigh and Ellen. Kara sat down on a bench and clasped her hands together. Her mind was racing. She couldn't form a thought. All she wanted to do was kill all the chrome domes. Chief was holding Cally and frowning. Cally looked up at Tyrol and with sorrowful eyes, she spoke, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know." Chief looked over at Kara. "What are we going to do?"

Kara turned her eyes towards Tyrol and Cally and shrugged. "I don't know. We don't know how many baseships there are, how many centurions and skin jobs are here, or what they want."

"They're probably going to kill us all." Cally looked at Kara.

"No. If they wanted to do that, they wouldn't have bothered to land here. They would have just blown us away without a moment's hesitation." Kara began trying to think.

"We could try and see if we can get a hold of Galactica." Tyrol suggested.

"No. The centurions blocked off communications already." Kara sighed.

"Frak." Tyrol turned his back to Kara and leaned against a chair. "What if we get Sam, his friends from the Caprica Resistance, and whatever marines we have down here, and try to come up with a plan?"

Kara's face fell. "Sam." She muttered under her breath. She quickly got up from her bench and ran out of the tent. How could I have forgotten? He's sick. He's stuck in bed. Defenseless. Kara ran hurriedly through the street, almost to the tent she shared with Sam. Her mind was racing. Everything felt as if it were going in slow motion. Time had come to a sudden halt. Her breathing was louder, her heart pounding. She arrived at her tent and burst through it. Sam was laying on the bed and a man stood beside him.

"Hello, Kara." He smiled and turned to face her.

"Leoben..." She turned to try and leave the tent but two centurions came and blocked her path.

"Stick around, Starbuck."

TWTW part 16 "Looks Like Tragedy"

2007-03-08T03:19:48Z

Kara's eyes showed her complete devastation. Her eyes echoed her sorrow and pain. She feel down upon the floor and broke down. Tears flowed down her face like streams to which nothing could stop. Helo kneeled down beside Kara and hugged her tightly. A tear fell from his eye at the sight of seeing Kara, the frak up, loud mouth, unafraid of anything, breaking down and crying. He leaned in and hugged Kara. At first it was not wholehearted but then he held her tighter. She slowly put her hands upon his back and returned the hug.

He backed away and looked her in the eyes, his face showing his sympathy. Kara was his best friend. He hated seeing her hurt so much. Zak had become a friend of his over time too. His untimely death brought much sorrow with it. A black cloud hung over everyone in the base and the thunder had yet to begin. The rain had yet to fall. Helo had seen all the people trying to console her with words but all were shot down. With the sincerest voice he could muster, he spoke, "I'm truly sorry, Kara."

She looked down at the cold concrete ground as the knuckledraggers pulled out Zak's dead body from the crashed and burned viper. She whimpered and turned her eyes away. Tears fell faster and she turned her head down to the ground; her hair falling into her face. The viper had come in too hot. There was no way to stop it. Kara was forced to stand there, powerless. The sight of his dead body too much for her to handle. Helo placed her cheek into his chest and tried to console her.

He sighed slowly. "Listen, Kara. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You couldn't have helped him. Don't blame yourself for this tragedy. The gods do everything for a reason. We may not see it, but there is one."

Kara wanted to smack Helo. She looked up at him with grief stricken eyes. "But, it was my fault." She turned her head away from him in shame.

Helo gave her a puzzled look. He didn't understand what she had said. What does she mean? He knew this wasn't the time to ask though, not when she was clearly grieving.

A woman walked over to them. A fresh face. One unseen. Someone new. Kara wiped away her tears and picked herself up off the floor. She and Helo turned in her direction. Helo was stunned by her beauty, immediately attracted. The woman tried to smile but given the situation, eh found it hard to smile.

She cleared her throat and extended her hand to them, waiting for someone to take it. Kara just stared at her. Helo saw her reaction and immediately shook her hand. She smiled and spoke, "My name is Sharon Valerii. I've just been assigned to the battlestar Galactica." She looked at both of them, waiting for a response. Silence.

Helo broke it. He cleared his throat, "My name is Karl. Karl Agathon. My callsign is Helo."

"Did you say Galactica?" Kara inquired. Her mind rememberd Bill Adama, Zak's and Lee's father who was recently reassigned to be in command of the Battlestar Galactica. He had been in command of the Valkarie but the reason he had been reassigned remained unknown. No one except his superior officers knew why he had been "demoted" to working on Galactica.

Sharon looked at Kara, "Are you Kara Thrace?" She looked sympathetically at Kara. She could tell by Kara's reaction to the sound of the name Kara Thrace, she was her. "Bill Adama is here. He has requested a meeting with you." Sharon saw Bill Adama and walked with Helo out of the area. Bill steadily approached her...

TWTW part 15 "Stars"

2007-03-08T02:46:50Z

Kara laid down in the bed of grass with her eyes turned up to the sparkling stars. Her bare body sunk deep into the ground and a wide smile crossed her face. She turned her eyes to Lee who was staring at her intently, his eyes full of satisfaction and love. He ran his fingers through her hair and rested his hand on her cheek. She rolled over and laid her head down on his chest. This moment screaming infedelities.

Kara closed her eyes and whispered softly as if the trees were listening to this stolen moment, "I'll leave him..." Her relaxed face tensed up a bit as she pressed her sweet lips into the palm of his hand and kissed it tenderly. She opened her eyes and looked in him. She wasn't looking at him for she saw right through him. She saw him stripped, bare...and not just in this such literal sense. She saw who he was without the rank and title before the name. She saw beyond the barriers he had created. She even thought that maybe, just maybe, he could break down the walls she had built to defend herself. Emotion was weakness. At least these were the words Kara was brought up with.

She felt guilty though. She loved Zak but she didn't know what she should do. Her mind kept saying Zak but her heart kept screaming Lee. Could she do that to either of them? Could she betray Zak by being in a relationship with Lee...his brother? Sex was one thing. It was not exclusive, it was rule bending. A relationship was more. It had more meaning. By taking that step of committment, she would completely devastate Zak. But were she to do this and abandon Lee, she would hurt not only him, but herself too. She couldn't help but feel that if she stayed with Zak, she would always wonder "what if".

Lee grinned at her and softly pressed his lips upon hers. He bent his head down towards her ear and whispered, "I love you." Kara smiled and Lee kissed her ear. She was candy in his mouth. A drug with one touch an addiction. This would never end, no matter the fight or the hate that existed. A love that was more than love. It was attraction, it was sex, it was passion, it was destruction. They could overcome the world, but could they overcome each other?

Kara looked to the stars, her mind wandering as her eyes jumped from each sparkling star. Each star a choice and a possible outcome. Some brighter than others. She had decided she was going to be with Lee. "I'm going to tell Zak after he passes his flight exam." She smiled wider. "And I love you, too." Some of the stars were prettier than the others. The infinite possibilities.

The Way Things Weren't Part 14 "Shattered" (Smutty)

2007-03-04T05:38:57Z

Kara had told Zak she was called to the base to assist in some unfinished business and she would be back as soon as possible. This was a lie. She was sitting on a park swing, swinging back and forth slowly. The only noise was the creaking of the rusty chains rubbing up against the metal pole holding it up. Her feet gently grazed the dirt below as she went up, and went down. She wrapped her fingers around the cold metal chains and sighed, unsure if Lee was still going to come.

She wanted to blame herself for where she was today. For all she had done, she believed this is where she should be. She was her own disaster and this was the mess that she had left for herself. Her love stained hurricane had ceased yet arisen as quickly as it had died. She didn't want to hurt anyone so instead she chose to hurt herself. Yet she had never realized a simple fact, that by hurting yourself, you hurt all who love you. She was finally coming to see that this war within of head vs. heart was going to end tragically for one side no matter what. Were she to choose Lee, she would crush Zak. Were she to choose Zak, it was destroy Lee. In this time of silent thought, she came to a conclusion, who could she not bear to lose more? Who would she be devastated to lose? And if both of them loved her like they say they did, they would accept the choice she had made. They would allow her to move on with the decision she had chosen. They would be happy for her because if by hurting yourself hurts the ones who care about you, then when you are happy, if they truly love you, they will be happy with you; despite the sorrow they may feel by your passing or letting them go. And so by this thought, she had chosen who it was she was going to leave behind, and who she was going to be with.

She heard something rustle the bushes to the left of where she sat. A cold breeze flew by and blew her hair into her face. She turned in the direction of the noise and saw Lee. He slowly walked over and sat on the swing beside Kara; the entire time their eyes were locked. The swing made a squeaking noise as he sat down upon it. Kara softly pressed her feet into the ground and stopped her swinging. She turned her body a bit to face Lee and looked him in the eyes. It was dark, but she could still make out his angelic face. She could still see his beautiful eyes. She watched him intently as the air began to fill up with tension, the way it always did when these two were anywhere together.

Lee reached over and put his hand on Kara's and smiled. She was taken aback, but immediately returned the smile. Her eyes turned down to their locked hands. He looked away from her, "Do you love him, Kara?"

She looked back up at him and frowned. A conversation she had dreaded but knew was inevitable. "Yes." She spoke truth. She did love Zak. She didn't want to but she did. Lee's face fell into a sorrowed expression. Kara placed her other hand that was holding the chain upon his cheek and smiled, "But not like I love you. Never like I love you." Lee smiled at her. He stood up and moved closer to her swing. Silence. No exchange of words. He simply stared at her, looking into her soul. It is said that the eyes are the portal to the soul. When Lee looked into her eyes, she became transparent, easier to understand; easier to see.

He leaned in closer to her and placed his hands upon the sides of her warm, rosy cheeks. He froze before going in to kiss, breathing her in before he tasted. This long awaited want coming to be fulfilled. To him, it was always a dream destroyed when awoken. He wanted this moment to last. He closed his eyes and opened them slowly. This was not a dream. This was not an illusion, a fantasy. It was reality. It was Kara. It was him. It was passion, pain, love, destruction, deciet, lies, hurt, and pleasure wrapped up into a beautiful disaster. A runaway train whose carnage was unappealing yet unresistable. He leaned in farther, his soft lips tenderly kissing hers. Their tongues locked and the sparks flew.

The cold air became hot. Kara wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and looked up at him, the passion rising in the air. He lifted her up off the swing, and supported her up. She continued to look at him, the lines had been crossed. Every warning sign was being ignored and every wall had fallen. The year she had spent trying to forget only made his reappearance all the more difficult. She lowered her head and kissed him as he placed his other hand on the pole to keep balance. She pulled away and smiled coyly at him. Her face came closer and her tongue came out. She licked him along the cheek and whispered in his ear, "I guess some things never change."

He smiled and moved his face to her ear and whispered in reply, "Some things never will." He kissed her ear softly and playfully bit it. Kara let out a giggle and began to kiss his neck , her mouth like a parasite, clinging onto him and sucking off him. She made her way to his shirt and smiled.

"Put me down for a sec." She grinned. Lee gave her a confused look and let her down. "Raise you arms." He was the puppet, going along for the thrill. She was the pupeteer, pulling his strings. She lifted his shirt up over his head and tossed it into the grass. Her hands touched his muscular chest and her claws came out. She scratched his sides all the way down until she reached the rim of his pants. Her fingers moved, centimeter by centimeter, closely approaching the button. She got down on her knees and unzipped the zipper of his pants. She demurely looked up at him, her pretense being that she was innocent. This pretense shattered as she quickly pulled down his pants. He looked down at her, smiling. She pulled down his boxers and saw the "Arrow of Apollo" looking back at her.

"I feel cheated." Lee pretended to pout.

Kara kneeled, shocked. "How so?"

He smiled, "Well here, I am, completely naked and yet you still have on all your clothes." He laughed.

She stood up and moved in closer to him, her body closely approaching contact. Her body pressed into his as she kissed him from his chest on down. Her mouth slowly inching from spot to spot, coming closer and closer to the "arrow". Her lips arrived and she wrapped her lips around the tip of the arrow. God-like, erect, tough. She moved her lips farther and farther, his arrow going deeper and deeper into her mouth. Lee looked up to the stars a look of bliss crossed over his face. She moved his lips back across his "arrow" and breathed in hard as Lee began to breathe deeper and faster. She smiled and playfully bit him a bit. Not hard enough to cause pain but enough for Lee to break out of state of euphoria with a shock.

Kara looked up at him and and smiled. He looked down at her with a funny face. "So, Lee, that make us equal?" She giggled.

Lee moved his hands to her waist and lifted up her shirt and tossed it into the ground beside his own. He smiled at her. "I love you, Kara Thrace."

She smiled up at him. "I love you, Lee Adama." The lust had left and the love had re-entered. He got onto his knees and pulled her closer to him. He gently pressed his lips upon her stomache and sucked on her like a leech. She smiled and laughed. His lips were tickling her. He moved his fingers to her pants and slowly unbuttoned and unzipped them. His fingers pulled down her pants and he smiled and stood back up.

He lifted her up on top of him and laid her down onto the grass, the passion moving in the air. The patience was gone. This was a long awaited moment, the distant dream. It was finally coming true and time no longer existed. In this moment, it was only them. He kissed her exposed neck like a vampire. Attacking her, loving her. He moved his hands upon her warm, ample breasts and grinned. He laid down on top of her and pushed himself into her body. His "arrow" burrowing deeper and deeper. Her mouth opened and a sigh of pleasure came out. She dug her nails down into his back as ecstasy overcame her face.

She kissed him passionately as he continued to ride her up and down. Her tongue plunging deeper and deeper into his throat as he worked his way farther and farther, faster and faster into her. Her nails drove deeper into his back the harder he came. Lee kissed her neck and smiled down at her. She let out another sigh between breaths as the pleasure overcame her.

The cracked glass completely shattered.

T.B.C. =P

The Way Things Weren't part 13 "Cracked"

2007-03-03T21:52:44Z

Kara was in ready position, ready to take on Zak in a game of football. She smiled devilishly. I'm going to kick his frakking ass. Bring it. She was laughing in her mind. She already knew she was going to win, even if he didn't go easy. He better not go easy, I'm not. She placed her hand in the grass and waited for him to move.

He laughed at how competitive she was getting. She is totally going to try and kill me out there. Let's see her try. He smiled at her and winked. He stood there a second and paused.

Kara grew impatient, "Hey, stop stalling. Just accept that your going to get murdered out there and start the frakking game." She laughed and he shook his head. He took off running and Kara immediately rammed herself into him, tackling him before he could get three steps out of his starting position. She grabbed her shoulder in pain.

"FRAK!" Kara gripped it tighter, her shoulder throbbing in her hand.

"Gods, what the frak are you made of? Gods...."Zak clutched his side, trying to laugh but immediately hurting. Kara dropped on top of him and smiled. He placed his palm on her cheek as she laid her head down upon his chest. They laid there in the soft grass, staring up at the blue sky and lovely clouds.

"I love you." She grinned.

Zak laughed. "Well, right now, I'm still in pain." She laughed. "But I love you too.

Kara got up off him and found Lee standing behind her. He stood with an expression of longing on his face. His face immediately showed how unhappy he was and Kara frowned. She stopped laughing. "Hi, Lee." She didn't dare try to hug him and was afraid to extend out her hand and have it rejected.

Lee stepped closer and Kara couldn't breathe. Suffocating. Though they were apart, it was like there was no distance. In their time apart, she had fallen for Zak but at the same time, she continued to love and long for Lee. Breath escaped her. She was drowning on dry land. She was drowning in him. His prescence was bringing her up but crushing her. This ghost of a good thing resurfacing once again. He suddenly hugged her in his tight embrace. A smile crossed both their faces. Lee whispered in her ear, "Hi, Kara."

Zak got up off the ground and brushed himself off. "Hey, Lee." Zak smiled at his brother and placed his hands upon Kara's waist. A hint of jealousy crossed Lee's face. Kara put on a fake smile as Zak kissed her on the cheek.

"How are you?" Lee stared intently at Kara. Fixated on the face he hadn't seen in a year. "Both of you?" Lee broke his eye contact with her and turned to look at Zak.

"Well...actually..." Zak trailed off. He cleared his throat and started again, "I have my final flight test on Thursday so I may finally be a certified viper pilot. Kara already cleared me for flight status but the other flight instructors are just going to verify my qualifications." He smiled. "I already sent dad a letter alluding to this, but I'm just gonna tell you. Kara and I are getting married." He smiled at his brother.

Lee's face fell. He couldn't breathe. This suffocation quite different from the one he had experienced with Kara. His eyes showed his sorrow as he bored holes into Kara. His eyes like daggers, piercing and ripping her apart. "Congradulations." He put on a fake smile that immediately fell.

"Hey, let's take a picture." Zak ran over and grabbed the camera from their bag. Kara tossed Lee the football and frowned.

She spoke quietly to him, "Meet me here. Tonight. We need to talk." Her eyes serious.

Lee sighed. "Okay."

Zak asked a woman if she would take a picture for them and she agreed. He gave her the camera and rushed back over to Lee and Kara. Zak came back and wrapped himself around Kara. Lee stood with the football in his hand and a tense smile. Kara pretended to be happy though inside, she was breaking. The woman Zak had handed the camera to took the picture and handed both the picture and the camera to Kara. She looked at it and broke. She was falling for Lee again. The walls were deteriorating. The glass was cracking.

The Way Things Weren't Part 12 "Crumbling Walls"

2007-03-03T21:27:47Z

(Side note: A year has passed since the last part)

The day after Kara and Lee silently parted ways, Lee had been reassigned to another base. Kara didn't know whether this was his choice or if he had been given orders to do so. She never saw him after that day so she never had the chance to ask him. Lindsey left a month or so later, leaving the base for Zak and Kara to destroy. A year had past since that day in the parking lot and so many things had changed.

Kara hadn't seen or spoken to Lee since the day in the parking lot. She always thought about calling him, thought about talking to him, but then she would hang up the phone. The fear of rejection too great for her. Sometimes, she would wonder if she ever crossed his mind, but then this thought would leave hers. Zak moved in with Kara seven months after Lee was reassigned. Three months after that, he proposed to her. They had grown closer and Kara had let down some of the walls she had built to let love in.

Zak saw Lee every once in a while and offered for Kara to come along but she always stayed at her apartment. She was usually painting or writing poetry, her guilty pleasures. When Zak mentioned Lee, she'd act like she didn't care when really, her heart skipped beats and her mind raced. She'd try to change the topic or she'd lean in and kiss him so he would shut up.

Kara was sitting down on her couch and looking up at the ceiling. "How about, 'Hey dad, going to get break a lot of rules and regulations but I'm going to get married to my hot ass flight instructor. Hope you don't mind.'" Kara laughed and Zak chuckled.

Zak was holding a pen, trying to think up what to tell his dad. He had mentioned he was seeing someone, but he had yet to tell his dad who she was and what it was she did. "Uh, how about no?" She turned her eyes to him and saw him smile.

Kara stood up and walked over to where Zak was sitting. She pushed back his chair and sat down upon his lap. She gently placed her hads behind his head and grinned. Zak smiled wider, "Don't know how this'll help me write the letter." He breathed her in, breathing in her sweetness. "More of a distraction...don't you say?" He closed his eyes and put his lips to her ear.

"Hmmm. I'd say so." She smiled coyly. "Why haven't you told your dad already? You've had the time."

Zak sighed, "See, I thought you were the one who wanted to keep everything quiet because of military regulations forbidding such things..." He laughed.

"Yeah, but I don't want to send the Commander an invitation to our wedding when he doesn't know who I am or anything about me. Don't know how well that would go over." She tried to keep a straight face but started laughing.

"Well, I'm sure my dad will love you. Always said how much he had always wanted a daughter in the family. Plus, how could he resist your lovely eyes? Your beautiful smile...Your gorgeous hair." Zak ran his hand through her blonde hair. "Your soft touch." He softly kissed her hands.

"No offense, but I don't want to touch your dad like that." Kara and Zak laughed in unison. Then the awkward silence set in at the thought. Zak put on a disgusted face and Kara coughed.

"Anyways...you are going to invite your dad?" Zak saw Kara's face immediately fall.

"Uh, no." She looked away from him and pulled back a bit.

"Oh, I just thought...I mean, you play his piano tape. I just thought..." His voice trailed off at the end.

"I just--I can't." She sighed.

"Your mother?"

Kara's face suddenly turned from sorrow to anger. "She's dead."

Zak felt as if he'd just started walking over thin ice. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm not." She smiled and kissed him.

"Well, I'm going to write this letter to my dad. Lee wanted to see me sometime. Catch up, you know?" Kara looked down. "I thought we could tell him...together. It would mean a lot to me." He lifted her chin up so she would look at him.

Kara's mind was racing. She cleared her throat and smiled. "Okay. We both have the day off tomorrow. Maybe he could go meet up with us at Caprica City Park and we could play football. Have a picnic." Her smile was falling but she remained calm.

"Okay. I'll call him later." He quickly kissed Kara and went to finish writing his letter.

That glass, that fragile wall that separated her from Lee was slowly cracking. Each moment another broken shard. The boundaries they had made were about to be crossed and every red line she had made was about to be destroyed. The glass was going to shatter.

The Way Things Weren't Part 11 "Silent Goodbye"

2007-03-02T06:41:09Z

Kara made her way to her parked jeep. She was exhausted from a days work of trying to avoid both Lee and Lindsey. Her shoes hit the tar ground, creating a clapping sound as she walked. She tuned out all noise except for the loud claps. Her hair fell into her face as she turned her eyes to the ground. A cold breeze blew by and Kara loved the feel. She placed her hands in her pockets to keep them warm and continued on her way; her jeep coming closer and closer.

She watched her feet as they quickly approached her vehicle. I could use a drink. Or six. She thought to herself; the first time today she had enough peace and quiet to think. Finally, she arrived at her car. She felt around her pocket for her keys, but they weren't there. It was then she realized she wasn't wearing her jacket. Dammit. Her mind flashed to a few hours earlier when Lee had ripped it off.

She turned her back to the vehicle and slid down its cold, metal surface. Her tired eyes slowly closed. Kara tilted her head backward and let it gently hit the keep. A moment later, something landed upon her face, turning everything dark. She placed her fingers upon it and felt the leather material. It was her jacket. A smile crossed her face as she pulled it off to see who stood before her. Her smile fell upon seeing who it was.

He crossed his arms and looked down at her. "Don't know how far you'd get without your keys." He let out a laugh and moved to stand beside her.

Kara inhaled slowly, wanting to get in her car and drive away. Drive far and fast, leaving all of this begind. Her body wouldn't move though; paralyzed. Words were forming in her mind but she didn't know which ones to say. Her body finally moved and she picked herself up off the ground. Her back was turned to him. She stood there, frozen for a second. She could feel his prescence; sense his longing. The tension rising in the air but Kara didn't want to talk and he knew not to push her.

She faced him now, their eyes locking but he turned away. He fidgeted a bit and darted his eyes back to her. Kara let out a sigh and put on her jacket. He just looked at her with eyes of yearning as she reached into her jacket and slowly pulled out her car keys. She slid the key in and unlocked the door. The man just stood on, watching her leave. He was letting her go, but she was already gone.

Kara hopped into her vehicle and turned it on. The dormant car roaring to life as this moment was killing Kara's. The noise of the running engine was the only noise around. The man stood in front of her window and tapped on the glass. She turned to look at him but decided against rolling down her window. He placed his palm upon the glass and softly pressed his fingers down. The glass was the visible wall between the two of them. A fence, a border, a line that separated them. So fragile and so delicate, it could easily be shattered.

He smiled but his eyes were filled with sorrow. Kara turned her head arund to see if any cars were pulling out behind her. She looked at him one last time and drove off, leaving him alone once again. He turned his head down to the ground. Lee and Kara both knew, this was their goodbye.

The Way Things Weren't Part 10 "Slipped Away"

2007-02-24T18:24:38Z

Kara was sitting in the cock pit of her viper, teaching the nuggets the basic controls. Lee came up behind Zak and put his right hand upon Zak's left shoulder. Zak turned his head to Lee and smiled. Both watched Kara. Kara saw Lee enter the area but she chose to act as if she hadn't. "Remember that and you may just live." Kara put on a crazy look.

Lee cleared his throat and took his hand off Zak's shoulder. He stepped up past Zak and called to Kara, "Lt. Thrace. A word?" Kara began to hop out of her viper. Her crazy look turned to one of fusteration.

"Sure, Captain." Her feet hit the ground with a loud smack. She let out a sigh and made her way over in his direction.

Instead of stopping to talk to Lee, she turned and went over to Zak. Zak had been watching the two with jealousy in his eyes. She arrived in front of him and leaned into his body. She placed her mouth to his ear and whispered softly, "See ya tonight, nugget. My place. Eight p.m." She smiled coyly. All the nuggets watched in confusion. Many tried to hear what it was she was saying, but none did. Lee frowned and turned his eyes to the ground.

Zak coughed and stood at attention. "Yes, sir." He grinned widely at her.

"Nuggets, your dismissed." Kara said sternly. The tense nuggets relaxed and exited the area, including Zak. This left Kara and Lee alone.

Lee stepped behind Kara and looked at her with longing eyes. His body yearned for her tender touch. He closed his eyes and Kara did so too. He tilted his head to the side and Kara could sense him. Even though they weren't physically touching, both could feel one another. Kara tilted her head the other way and backed up a bit into him. Lee placed his hands upon her shoulders and inhaled her in like she was a drug that got him high.

Kara broke his contact with her and turned around to face him. She looked him straight in the eyes; her heart was racing. She darted her eyes to the ground. "We can't do this, Lee. They don't deserve it. Lindsey, Zak. They don't. I may be frak-up Kara thrace but I'm not that frakked up. There's some lines you don't cross and that's one of them." Kara's eyes welled with tears that would not fall. Her voice became unsteady. She fixed her eyes upon the ground, trying to avoid all eye contact wtih him. If she were to look into his eyes, she knew she would cave. The walls she had created would crumble before her.

Lee stepped closer to Kara. "So they don't deserve it. Your right." Lee nodded his head. "They don't." He tenderly placed his hands upon her soft cheek and a small tear fell down her face. Lee wiped it away with his finger and lifted her face to his eye level, forcing her to look up at him. She turned her eyes to the side, unwilling to cave into his eyes. "But everyone deserves to be happy, Kara." Lee pulled her body closer to his. She placed her hands softly upon his lower back. She closed her eyes. Lee grabbed her and backed her into the darkness of the room. He pulled her head back and kissed her exposed neck with his sweet lips. He pushed her up onto one of the tables and pushed away the viper repair tools. She moved her hands up from his lower back to the top of his head. She opened her eyes and leaned his head back by pulling on his hair.

Lee slowly pulled off Kara's jacket and wrapped his arms around her, gently placing his hands upon her back. He breathed her in as she breathed in him. Kara sweetly kissed his ear and rubbed the side of her face upon his cheek. Kara inhaled slowly and could feel Lee's warmth. He put his hand up and waited for hers. He locked his fingers with hers and she bit her lip. They looked into each others eyes as if the entire world had disappeared.

She grabbed him by the chin and kissed him, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck. A pilot entered the room and coughed. It was Helo's ECO, Reaper. Lee and Kara looked over at him guiltily. "Captain, your needed elsewhere. Lindsey said she needed your help, sir. Kara, Zak's looking for you." Reaper's eyes were darting all over the place, avoiding the intertwined Kara and Lee.

Kara and Lee coughed and cleared their throats. Kara pushed Lee away and hopped off the table. She walked right past him and whispered, "Told you. It can't be done."

Lee sighed and remained there with Reaper in an awkward silence. Lee saw Kara's jacket she had left behind. He quickly grabbed it and briskly walked past Reaper. Reaper just stood there in shock of what he had just witnessed. Then he laughed and walked away.

Lee briskly chased after Kara, hoping to return her jacket. Hoping to breathe her in again. Dreaming of tasting her once more. He saw her walking, faster and further away from him. He began to get ready to run after her when Lindsey stepped in front of him.

"Lindsey?!" Lee looked at her with a shocked and preoccupied look. Part of him wanted to move her out of his way and continue with the chase after Kara.

"Hey, honey. I need your advice on what to do with the knuckledraggers. Some of them are dragging ass and not listening. I think it's since I'm the new Chief. I was wondering if maybe the Cap'n could kick them into shape." Lindsey placed her hand on his chest and smiled.

"Uh, sure." Lee wasn't listening. He was paying more attention on Kara who was slowly slipping away from him.

Kara turned and saw Lee with Lindsey. Her face showed hurt but then she decided that instead of feeling hurt, she would be tough. She smiled and walked off. Lee saw Kara's initial reaction of sorrow. His face fell and in that moment, when she smiled, he knew he had lost her. She had slipped away.

BSG The Way Things Weren't Part 9 "Complex"

2007-02-24T00:13:07Z

Kara arrived at her viper and inspected it from side to side. Her name and callsign were on the left. The call of the flight lured her closer and nearer to the viper. She placed her hands upon the left wing and slid her fingers across the cold, metal surface. The smooth feel, the dirty, white paint, the nameplate reading Kara "Starbuck" Thrace. Flying. Being a viper pilot came naturally for her. She closed her eyes and walked around the viper, her hands gently running along the side. She began to think of the mess she had made of her life. She longed to just jump into the cock pit and fly. Fly away from the complex emotions and away from all of this.

"What a loser." A man's voice spoke out jokingly and interrupted Kara's quiet thinking. He laughed and Kara knew who it was without even turning around.

A smile crossed her face. She laughed and spoke out to him, "Like your one to talk, Karl." She opened her eyes and turned to face him. Big grins were on both their faces; like painted masks. Kara tilted her head a bit to the right and squinted her eyes. "You look almost normal at this angle." They laughed in unison.

He sighed and looked at her seriously, "What are you doing, Kara?" He crossed his arms and looked at her confused. "Not petting a viper now are you? That would make you worse than me." He laughed.

Kara smiled and turned back to the viper. She stared at it intently. "Flying vipers is the only thing I'm really good at." A smile came upon her face and as soon as it came, it fell.

Karl chuckled. He cleared his throat and looked at the ground. "That and drinking. Oh, and picking up guys. We can't forget sex either." He checked Kara out; looking her up and down.

"Keep your eyes where I can see them." She pointed her finger up and smiled.

"You can't see me though."

"As if I don't know what your doing." She turned her head and stuck out her tongue at him. "Eh, I'm immature, so sue me." She tilted her head and shrugged. She refocused her eyes on the viper. "We're also going to ignore the sex comment."

"Statement's still true." He cleared his throat. "So what's the matter, Kara?" He stepped closer in Kara's direction.

Kara closed her eyes at the sound of his approaching foot steps. She inhaled slowly and exhaled quickly. "I'm a complex person. I make everything in my life so complicated. Nothing is ever simple. And sure as hell, nothing is easy. Everything changes. Flying. Flying is the one simple, constant, and easy thing in my life." Kara opened her eyes and frowned. "Guys are morons, rules just beg me to break them, and I have those serious, unresolveable mommy issues."

"Your mom called?" He took another step closer and gave her a questioning look.

"Bitch found out I was in the military. She looked me up and got my number. Been getting calls every day for the past two weeks. Says she has something 'important' to tell me."

"You'll be fine. You can either ignore your mother, or give her a call. Or if you aren't a phone person, you could always drop by and surprise her. Up to you." He took another step forward. "Let me guess, Lee is driving you crazy and your in trouble with command again..." Helo stepped again, this step bringing him right behind her. He placed his hands upon her shoulders and Kara closed her eyes.

"Right on one of the two, except I think I'm making Lee crazier." She raised her eyebrows and smiled. Both she and Karl laughed. "And I slept with Zak Adama twice and I could get in a lot of trouble if command finds out." She exhaled loudly.

Helo rubbed Kara's shoulders and leaned right beside her. He whispered into her ear, "Well we all know you, Kara. You don't give a frak about rules. Don't you say that they're made to be broken?" He smirked and Kara grinned.

"Yep. That's me."

"And Zak, either give the dog a bone or kick him to the curb. He's been making puppy dog eyes at you all day. You got him whipped." Helo let go and stopped massaging her back. "I got to go before the nuggets come in. Supposed to be meeting Reaper today. Lazy frak actually showed up." Karl laughed.

"Later."

"Bye." And Karl exited the area.

Kara kept her eyes closed and listened the silence. It was broken by the noise of the nuggets entering. She put on a sinister smile and turned to face them. "Welcome to hell, nuggets. I'm your flight instructor. We met before. My name is Kara Thrace. Remember it. You, my little nuggets, will call me God. When God speaks, your going to listen. Don't speak unless I speak to you. You mess up in a viper, you die. You die, then the knuckledraggers will have to spray the remains of your body out of the cockpit. That task would inconvience them so I suggest you guys not frak up." Kara's eyes widened and she turned back to the viper.

"Damn, she's hot." One of the nuggets nudged Zak and smirked.

"Yeah. She is." Zak said with those puppy dog eyes.

Maelstrom Part 13 "Descended"

2007-02-22T01:27:37Z

Kara had a look of shock on her face. She leaned into the structure that had the design upon it and slid down its smooth surface slowly. Finally, she hit the ground with a thud. So confused, so lost. Her eyes reflected her troubled mind. She shook her head repeatedly as if she could shake away the words Leoben had spoken.

Leoben stood before Kara and saw how distraught she was. He sat down beside her, his back into the wall. Kara didn't even take any notice to him, she simply sat there; drowning in her confusion. Leoben put one hand around his wrist and propped his knees up. He looked at Kara and frowned.

Silence.

Stillness.

The temple remained quiet. The only noise was the breathing of Leoben and Kara. Kara finally looked over in Leoben's direction and their eyes locked. She inhaled and counted to ten as her mind raced with thoughts.She closed her eyes.

One. Leoben's voice lingered. You've been to this temple before.

Two. This design was greated by a great prophet.

Three. She predicted the future and foresaw the destruction of mankind.

Four. She prayed to one God and found salvation in her faith.

Five. She had a daughter whom she loved greatly.

Six. The daughter was murdered by a religious zealot who hoped to please the Lords.

Seven. Pythia, a fellow prophet, foresaw the fate of this soul and was terrified.

Eight. She was forever destined to be trapped between the reality and future.

Nine. The twelve colonies abandoned the Lords of Kobol when it finally hit them that the Gods were not answering their prayers.

Ten. The schism between Kobol's tribes began by religious differences and ended in the bloodshed of the innocent.

Kara opened her eyes and moved her mouth to speak. She was about to say something but the words would not form and spill from her lips.

Finally Leoben spoke, "The Gods to which you pray to, are false deities, Kara. The people of the twelve colonies found this out but could not abandon their faith. They fled Kobol, the blood drenched planet. They knew the prosperous times were when all believed in the Lords so they lied and made up the story and myths about Lords and prayers. The thirteenth tribe had originally intended to abandon it's brothers and sisters on Kobol. Their leader was a prophet who's daughter was the one murdered. The thirteenth tribe had a different religion. They looked to one god and not the many. The other tribes saw this as heracy and conspired to destroy their brothers and sisters who they once loved. You think that the location of Kobol and Earth were simply forgotten? The twelve colonies, ashamed of their actions, swore they could never look upon the face of the thirteenth colony.The prophet's daughter has been chosen to see God's plan." Leoben smiled.

Kara turned with tears in her eyes, "Am I..." Kara didn't finish. She couldn't finish.

Leoben nodded his head.

Kara's mind raced with thoughts.

"But that's not the entire story." Leoben smiled at Kara. He turned to face her and wiped the tears from her eyes.

Kara looked him in the eyes and frowned. "What is the rest?" Her voice was quiet.

"Why are you crying Kara?" Leoben changed subject. His face showed his concern.

"All my life, I've been beaten and broken down. I've been told I'm worthless. Now I come to find the gods to which I placed my faith in, are false. Then I'm told this crazy story that I'm some reincarnated prophet's daughter?" Kara laughed. She still couldn't believe.

"Your mother, the one by birth, could tell you were special. Did she ever tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Kara sucked in her tears and put on a strong face.

"When your mother first found out she was pregnant, she went to an oracle. The oracle told her that you were going to be special. That you had a destiny. But to fulfill that destiny, you would need to be pushed and helped along. Your past has made you stronger, Kara."

"So if being the reincarnated daughter of a prophet isn't why I'm special, why am I special?"

"You know where Earth is. You hold the key. Your also meant for so much more than you know. More than you could imagine. And I didn't tell you the rest of the story."

Kara's eyes perked up.

"Do you remember the part in the scroll, 'and Athena threw herself off a cliff in despair of the exodus of the thirteen tribes'?" Leoben questioned.

"Yeah."

"Did I mention that the name of the prophet's daughter was Athena?" Leoben laughed.

Kara turned and glared at Leoben. "You said she was murdered."

Leoben looked into Kara's eyes, "She was kidnapped by the twelve colonies and they staged her death. Everyone left her on that planet alone. A little blonde girl. Some stayed behind but not many. She threw herself off the cliffs. Her name was Athena. The Tomb of Athena was built in memory of the little girl. Is leaving a little girl to fend for herself not murder?" Leoben frowned.

Kara closed her eyes. He's lying. This is the biggest bull shit I have ever heard. "Why not tell me what my destiny is?" She snapped at him.

"I'm here to show you, not tell you." Leoben smirked. "I'm here to help you through the transition."

"Transition?"

"Touch the circular design, Kara. We've got somewhere else to go."

Kara looked angry over Leoben's vague answers and half told stories. She placed her hand upon the symbol and found her and Leoben in the museum on Caprica; standing before the Arrow of Apollo. Kara looked around confused and Leoben simply smiled devilishly.

Maelstrom fanfic part 12 "Self-Afflicted"

2007-02-22T00:52:59Z

Baltar sat in a rolling chair with his hands placed upon his wrinkled forehead. His tired eyes finally closed and in this moment, it hit him. The realization being that he may be unable to awaken from her coma. It seemed as if her current condition was self-afflicted and only Kara could awaken herself from that state. Baltar began to break at the thought. He knew if he was unable to save Kara, Lee may reconsider defending him in his upcoming trial. He knew his last lawyer had been assassinated and no one wanted to defend him; especially if it spelled death for them.

Six place her hands upon his shoulder and looked towards the comatosed Kara. She smiled sinisterly as she leaned to Baltar's ear. She whispered softly, "What's the diagnosis, Doctor?"

Baltar opened his eyes and found himself sitting upon his bed on Caprica, staring out at the water that surrounded his once beautiful home. He sighed deeply. "This place had once lost it's value, it's desireable traits. My time spent in that dreary, dull cell on Galactica has made me re-evaluate the beauty of it all." Baltar stood up and walked towards the railing. He placed his coarse hands upon it and leaned his body to the left. He seemed transfixed by the water. It was reflecting the suns rays causing it to sparkle.

Six was laying on her side upon his bed. She ran her fingers into the bed and bit her lip as she looked over to Baltar's position. She smiled coyly, her bright blnde curls covering a portion of her face. "Maelstrom." She spoke quietly, under her breath but loud enough for Baltar to hear her.

Baltar turned and face her; his hands still upon the railing. He spoke with a puzzled look on his face. "What?" His usually ratty hair and worn out face was new and shiny. His facial hair shaven off. Yet his outfit was still that of the rags he was given on Galactica.

"Maelstrom. Conflicting tides. I predict a great..." She paused and looked down at the bed before starting again. "Storm, is coming." She moved her eyes back up to look at Baltar. "Kara has a destiny that God has written for her, Gaius." Six sat up on the bed and looked out to the water. She sunk her nails into the sheets and pushed herself up. Her high heels sunk into the carpet as she made her way towards him. She stood beside Baltar, her hands gripping the rails tightly. Baltar faced the bed, but turned his head to look at her. Her eyes sparkled as she stood, mesmerized by the beauty of the water.

Baltar placed the back of his hand on her cheek. She turned her head into his hand and closed her eyes. "Gaius, you can't save her." She stopped and pulled her cheek a little bit off his hand. She slowly opened her eyes. "But you have to help her. God has placed her fate in your hands." She turned her face to his hands and clasped hers with his. She pressed her soft lips onto them and kissed them gently. She looked up at him and leaned into his body. His lips locking with hers, their tongues gently grazing one anothers.

"Dr. Baltar?" Admiral Adama stood before Baltar with his hands in front of him. His face was serious, his eyes cold. He had spent the better half of the morning drinking away in his quarters.

Baltar cleared his throat and began, "Admiral?" Baltar was holding tightly to the arms of his chair that had been, in his fantasy, the rails. He snapped out of his reverie and looked up at the scary man before him. Drunk with sorrow, filled with rage. Like father like son. Baltar laughed in his mind.

"Have you figured out anything about Kara's current condition?" His face showed no emotion and was unchanging. His eyes still as cold as his voice. He was attempting to intimidate Baltar. Terrify him.

"Uh, no. As Doc Cottle previously said, she appears medically fine. I'd like to run some blood test to see if she maybe contracted a disease or if it could be something to do with her specifically." Baltar smiled at the Admiral.

The Admiral felt uneasy about trusting this traitor but he had no other choice. "If there were something, wouldn't you have noticed it when you tested her blood with the cylon detector?" Adama smiled to cause Baltar to feel weary. His eyes still bore holes into Baltar's body.

Baltar was clearly intimidated. A bead of sweat dropped down to his chin. "She may have caught something recently." He lied through his teeth.

Six appeared beside Kara's bed, laughing. "If only they knew what you really did during your 'research'."

"If only." Baltar smirked. Admiral looked oddly at him. "If only I could have a blood sample, it may answer what's wrong with, Starbuck. Currently, it seems that her medical condition is self-afflicted." Baltar lowered his head, tired of being looked at by the Admiral.

Bill glared at him, "Meaning she..." his voice trailed at the thought.

"Meaning, she fell into the coma and she is keeping herself in it." Baltar and Adama looked over at Kara with sympathetic and tired eyes.

BSG The Way Things Weren't Part 8 "Like Getting Hit By a Train"

2007-02-18T23:26:00Z

Kara was walking around on the military base, looking around at all the busy people going on in their daily routine. Everyone seemed so consumed in what they were doing that it was almost as if all these people didn't know that anyone around them even existed. Like bees in a hive all working for the same function yet all the bees never spoke to each other and hardly acknowledged the others existence. Some talked, some laughed and joked, but it was obvious that most of these people didn't care for the other. A passing glace, a friendly wave, but no in depth conversations and no invitations to hang out after work or to go drinking. These people thought of one another as a co-worker or competition.

Kara sighed and walked around. She was on her lunch break but she wasn't in the least bit hungry. The sun was still blazing down so Kara put back on her sunglasses. Suddenly, she felt something grip her arm and throw her into the nearest hangar room. It was dark where she was and she didn't know who was holding her. She felt his leg in between hers. She felt his body pressing up on hers. His left arm was pushed into the wall and he was leaning into her. She opened her mouth and breathed out deeply. The man brought his fingers from her waist on up to her breasts and kissed her. His tongue touching hers, his body up on hers. She was still in so much shock, she didn't bother to see who it was. She just closed her eyes and enjoyed the taste and the touch.

The man took his hand that was on the wall and slid it down. He grabbed her ass, causing her to lose balance and fall into the wall. Kara let out a pained sigh and opened her eyes. Her mouth was still open, awaiting what she was going to recieve. She looked on, shocked by who was in front of her. He whispered in her ear, "Do you love him, Kara?"

Kara closed her eyes, fighting back her tears. She pushed herself off the wall and pressed herself harder into him, "I love you, Lee." Kara put her hand on the back of his head and pulled his head down lower towards her. She ran her fingers through his hair and smiled coyly. The thought of Zak popped into her head and this thought brought on the same sudden feeling as if she had just been hit by a train. Kara closed her eyes but the feeling still lingered.

Lee closed his eyes and whispered to her, "Then what do you say, Lt?" The thought of being with Kara made him smile.

A tear came down Kara's eye. It streamed down her cheek and she breathed slowly to calm herself down. "I--" Her voice was shaking. "We can't do this." Kara pushed Lee off her and frowned. "Not to Zak. Not to Lindsay." Kara passed Lee and started to walk off when Lee grabbed her arm and spun her around into him. Their faces were close, their noses touching. The tension was in the air and both of them could feel it. Lee kissed Kara again, sparks flying and emotions running high.

Lee leaned down and whispered softly, "Tell me you don't love me. Just say it and I'll leave." Lee closed his eyes.

Kara remained quiet. She tried to speak but her mind and her heart were conflicting. She knew it was wrong to even be there with Lee. She may not be in a relationship with Zak but Lee was his brother and there was a line that you should know not to cross and that was the big, big, big red line that had yellow caution tape all over it. Kara was driving down a street with signs reading, "DANGER, DANGER" and still she wanted to drive forward but her mind wouldn't let her. She sighed, "I don--" Kara couldn't bring herself to say it. She closed her eyes and a tear came down her face again, "I don--. I just can't do this. Not like this." Kara kissed him softly and whispered. "I love you, Lee."

Kara pushed him away and ran off out of the building. The sinking feeling of being hit by a train was building up. Actually, it was more like she had been hit by a train and her body was then run over by a semi-truck. Her mind was racing, her heart breaking and all she could do was try to carry on like she was okay; like she didn't just kill herself by doing that. In truth, she was the one who hit herself with the train. A very, very large train.

Maelstrom fanfic Part 11 "Temple of Revelations"

2007-02-18T22:43:28Z

Kara had yet to put her other foot through the door when she and Leoben were already at the Temple of Five. Kara looked around in amazement at the structure in the middle. Leoben watched her with a smirk on his face. It was like seeing a child step into a candy store for the first time. She spun her head around and laid her eyes upon the circular symbol she had drawn years before, when she was a child.

She stepped closer to the design, her shoes making a noise that echoed throughout the quiet temple. Leoben leaned into the wall behind him and folded his arms. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" Leoben turned his head up to the design of the temple. He looked to the top of the roof and back down to Kara. "It was built 4,000 years ago by the five priests devoted to the one who can not be named. Foretold was it's destruction. It was destined to be destroyed. It was simply created so when Earth's brothers and sisters seeked a new, safe haven, this would be the marker to point them on their way. It had no other purpose but that." Leoben smiled.

Kara turned her head to look back at Leoben. "God? The one who can not be named?" She questioned, her eyes showing her curiousity.

Leoben advanced a bit closer to Kara and she moved up also. Leoben sighed, "Maybe. Maybe not. That's not important." Leoben gave her a stern look.

"Then why mention it--?" Her mind was distracted by the design, her voice trailing off at the end. She extended her arm out and gingerly stretched out her fingers as she slowly approached the symbol. Kara shook off her dream state and shook her head. She put her hand down and closed her eyes repeatedly, it was as if the symbol was luring her closer and she had to resist it's call. "There's no way." Kara began.

"No way what?" Leoben gave her a confused look. Kara turned her head in his direction and smiled.

Kara turned back to the symbol and looked up at the top of the structure. She brought her eyes back to the symbol and finally spoke, "There's no way I know what this place looks like. I've never been here before." Kara closed her eyes, resisting the call of the symbol.

Leoben's eyes widened a bit and he looked down, "Are you sure about that last part?" He stepped onto the eye where Baltar, one of the few people to see the temple before its destruction, had asked God to show him the final five. He was not meant to see. Leoben thought to himself.

Kara turned her body to face him and glared at him. "What the frak is that supposed to mean? I'm not 4,000 years old. I wasn't around when the temple was built." Kara was beyond lost.

Leoben turned his back to Kara and could sense Kara's eyes were boring holes into him. "We are more than this being, this sack of flesh. I told you this years ago when we first met. Even then, I was trying to help you. I was trying to make you understand. Your body is the shell through which you fulfill your destiny. You shell is that which houses your soul. You soul is what is bound by destiny, not the body." Leoben stepped off the Eye and began to slowly circle the structure and Kara. "All of this has happened before, Kara. The story is the same, only the players change."

Kara watched Leoben slowly walk around her. She sighed. "So is my destiny pre-written because it has happened before? Before I even existed..."

Leoben pointed at her and smiled, "See, that is where you are different." His voice perked up. "Your case is 'special'. Your trapped by destiny, yes. No matter what life you were to have lived, the outcome would have been the same. You would never have died on Caprica. Even had you not joined the military, you would have survived the destruction of the colonies because God willed it so. Ever think about how many pilots go out there and die each day? How many people get sick and are just a nameless, faceless deaths? How you've survived being shot down more than once and even shot in the stomach? Ever think about how much you've survived against all odds? It's because your special and you are not meant to die until you fulfill your destiny. But the soul is that which is trapped. Your soul. It's been forced to play this role in every story because you have yet to ever fulfill that destiny to which you are bound. You aren't from Caprica, Starbuck." Leoben smiled.

Kara glared at him thinking he was trying to frak with her mind. In her voice you could hear her anger, "I lived on Caprica. That was real. It wasn't some made up story like Sharon's bull shit Troy story. I suffered. I fought. I lived my life. That was not a lie." Kara hesitated. "I'm not a cylon...am I?" She looked at Leoben, fearful of the answer. She was 99.9% sure she wasn't but still, that .1% bugged her.

Leoben laughed, "No Starbuck. You are not one of the Final Five." Leoben stopped circling her. "Your asking the wrong questions. There's a reason I brought you here. Haven't you ever wondered why you drew this symbol?" Leoben pointed to the design.

Kara frowned, "I don't know. It just felt like something I had to do. I drew it years before on my apartment wall on Caprica. Before that, I had drawn it several times as doodles and pictures for my mother."

"Did you ever see it before you drew it?" He knew the answer but wanted her to figure out herself.

Kara thought back. "How could I have? This design was made by those that left Kobol for Earth. There were no records of this Temple other than the vague words in the Scrolls of Pythia. What did you mean before?" Kara turned and looked at him puzzled.

Leoben smirked. "Your getting warmer to the right questions." Leoben stepped up beside Kara. "It's too early to tell you about my comment about having been here before. Just a piece to the puzzle that you have to figure out. Now. Ask the correct question." Leoben put his hands behind his back and stood with his legs shoulder length apart.

Kara turned back to the design and focused intently on it. "What does the symbol mean?"

"BINGO!" Leoben pointed at her with wide eyes. "Right question. Think about it. A circular design. Circles show?" Leoben waited for Kara's response.

"Uh, they can show cycles and represent numerous things." Kara gave a 'what the frak' look.

"Right. And what cycle do we all know?"

"All of this..." Kara began but knew Leoben knew the rest.

"Want to know what it means?" Leoben smiled devilishly.

"That's why I asked." Kara said like a smart ass.

"Well..." Leoben began---.

-To be continued-

Maelstrom fanfic part 10 "Helping Hands"

2007-02-17T04:54:30Z

"Really now?" Baltar pondered the thought and entertained himself with the idea of being allowed to have a lawyer in his defense. It seemed that selling out the human race to the enemy and helping, whether it was conciously or unknown, aid the cylons commit nuclear genocide and lay waste to the human race and colonies, was frowned upon. No one wanted to aid Baltar. He knew Lee had been ordered to be his lawyer but Lee had refused. Adama's words to Baltar when reflecting on his conversation with Lee were that, "I would never help such scum that helps the enemy." Baltar laughed. He got to his feet and stepped closer to Lee. His bare feet hit the cold concrete and made a smacking sound every time he came closer. He looked Lee up and down and then back at Six. She smiled at him with cruel intentions running through her mind. "Why would you want me to save her?" Baltar spoke indirectly to Six. He looked from her to Lee and smiled. "I only mean, I knew she always liked you, but aren't you married now, Major?" Baltar smirked.

Lee looked irritated with Baltar and began to grow impatient. Breathing the same air as this traitor, speaking to this slime made him want to reach over and choke him. For all this man had done, he deserved the airlock. That Lee had said he would DEFEND this man was like Kara saying she would never drink again. His curiousity was peaked by Baltar's "I knew she always liked you" phrase. "What do you mean by that?" Lee looked at Baltar questioningly.

Six was now leaning on Baltar's shoulders, her mouth to his ear. She whispered to him in a manipulative way, "Gaius." She said almost in a pouting voice. "God has placed Kara's destiny in your hands. Do not fail his divine will." She stroked his chin and smiled. "Agree to help him." Baltar closed his eyes as he felt her warm hand caress his cheek. Though she were just the woman in his mind, she was the only woman he wanted. He smiled and felt her touch disappear. He opened his eyes and she was gone.

"Baltar!" Lee called to Gaius who was in a dazed state of mind.

Baltar coughed and cleared his throat, "Sorry." He softly rubbed his throat. "I'll do it." He smiled. "I'll help her on the condition that you are my defense lawyer in my upcoming trial." Baltar extended his hand.

Lee frowned. "Agreed." He grabbed Baltar's hand and squeezed. Baltar's face was overcome with a pained expression. "But you will do everything in your power to save her." Lee pulled Baltar in closer. "Understand?"

Baltar looked angrily up at Lee. "Understood." Baltar gripped his hand in pain. Lee finally let go.

He motioned for the guards to come over. "Cuff Dr. Baltar and have him and myself escorted back to the Med. Bay." There were now seven guards to escort them. The five from the cell and the two from the Med. Bay. Lee was unsure if they were enough but he wanted to save Kara quickly so he didn't have time to call in any more guards.

"But, sir--" One of the guards began.

Lee cut him off, "Admiral Adama's orders." He glared at the guard, trying to intimidate him.

The guard nodded his head and began pulling out his handcuffs, "Yes, sir." Baltar looked at the guard. "Your wrists." The guard motioned for Baltar to raise them. Baltar looked irritated but did as he was asked. "Thank you." The guard placed the cuffs on him and together, the seven guards, Lee, and Gaius Baltar exited the cell and headed off to help Kara.

----

Baltar and Lee arrived at the Med. Bay, only to find Kara thrashing in her bed. Whatever was wrong with her, it was getting worse. One of the medics was trying to hold Kara's arms down, the other was trying to hold down her legs; both were failing. Baltar looked on in shock and knew not what to make of the situation. Lee's face became overwhelmed with worry and concerm.

"DR!" One of the medics holding Starbuck was, apparently, having difficulties. She could hardly control Starbuck. She turned her face in Baltar's direction. Baltar stood frozen and unsure. "DR!"

Baltar moved closer to Kara and held her wrists down on her cot. "Hurry! Get me something to sedate her!" Baltar had the same problems with trying to hold Kara down. The medic just looked at him, "I SAID HURRY!" Baltar looked at the frozen medic with a look of anger. Six came and sat at the other side of the bed and looked on at Starbuck. Baltar looked at her shocked.

"God is testing her. Should she fail, she will die." Six looked up at him, "she is important to not just the humans, but the cylons too. Her death would be a great loss, Gaius. Don't fail, God. Keep her alive as long as you can." Six looked down with sympathy in her eyes. She moved Kara's bangs with her hand, "the rest is up to her." Baltar looked down to try and focus on holding Kara down and when he looked back up, Six was gone.

Kara opened her eyes. Her eyes had gone completely white. There were no pupils, no color at all, just white. Baltar's eyes widened in terror as Lee looked on in shock. "Don't touch me, mother frakker!"

Kara pushed Leoben off her and hit him. "Get the FRAK away!"

Leoben laughed as he rubbed his cheek where Kara had punched him. He stopped and placed his hands upon her face, "You look so beautiful."

Kara flashed back to the memory of New Caprica and was ready to burst into tears. She restrained herself and her sorrow turned to rage. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out, "You aren't real. Your in my head." Kara hit her head on the wall. "Your in my head. I don't believe anything you say!" Kara glared at him.

Leoben laughed, "you take the alternative of being crazy rather than just listening to me?"

Baltar looked at Lee with a look of complete and utter confusion. Kara stopped fighting and Baltar let go. Lee stepped closer towards Kara's bed.

"You should believe me, Starbuck. I'm the only one with the answers that can help you." Leoben sighed and backed away. "I guess you just have to see to believe. Kara, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just trying to help you." He motioned Kara to come closer.

Hesitantly, Kara advanced. "I don't trust you."

Leoben opened the door to the room. He laughed. "Didn't say you had to trust me. I said you have to believe me." Leoben extended his hand out for hers. She slowly grabbed it, sickness corrupting her soul. He smiled and pulled Kara through the door.

Kara opened her eyes and found herself in a place she had never been before. Leoben laughed, "The Temple of Five. I'm here to show you something."

Kara remained quiet.

Baltar lifted her eyelids and her eyes were back to normal. He looked at Lee and simply shrugged, "I have no idea what is wrong with her."

Maelstrom Part 9.5 Deals with Devils cont. "Selling Your Soul"

2007-02-15T21:16:46Z

Kara opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by those same old familiar walls. She was on that same bed she had slept in for many years of her life; prior to her time spent on Galactica. She was in her apartment back on Caprica. The apartment was nice and clean, before Kara had destroyed it. Looking around confused, her eyes hurt and her head was spinning. Last thing she remembered was taking a dive off a cliff on Kobol. Was it a dream? Kara blinked her eyes repeatedly. On her bed lay an empty bottle of Ambrosia. I didn't dream up the entire cylon attack did I? Kara looked around dazed.

She looked at her clock which read 6 a.m. Then, she felt the hand of another on her back. It was Leoben. Kara rolled over and glared at him. He smiled at her, his eyes filled with sinister intent. Kara looked around, wondering if she had been drugged or if she had simply fallen into some terrible dream. She pinched her arm. Dammit, I'm not waking up. Kara sighed and pulled her hair back from her face.

Leoben laughed, "No Kara, your not dreaming. You haven't been drugged either, Starbuck." Leoben put his hands upon the bed and stared at her.

Kara looked at him confused, "How did you--"

"Know?" Leoben finished her sentence. He laughed at Kara's scared look.

"What are you?" She began to stand up and get off the bed. "Your not Leoben." Kara didn't take her eyes off him.

He sighed, "No, I'm not Leoben. But I do know all about you Mrs. Anders. You were born to a woman who believed suffering was good for the soul. You choose to believe that you are the problem and overlook the world around you." Leoben looked down at the bed. "Sound familiar?"

Kara turned her head a bit to the side and bit her lip. She sighed and smiled, "How do you know about that conversation?"

Leoben looked at her, "Simple, I'm not Leoben and I'm not your conscience. I'm not even really here." Leoben laughed.

Kara began, "Am I--"

"Hallucinating you?" Leoben finish her sentence again. "No. I'm not anything but an angel of guidance."

Kara scoffed, "You? An Angel?" She laughed. "More like a devil. I answered my own question." Kara looked up at the ceiling and back at Leoben with a smile.

"No, Kara." Leoben looked at her, knowing what she was thinking.

"Really? So I'm not in hell? Then what the frak would you call being back on Caprica and stuck in a room with you?" Kara's eyes shot out beams of hate towards him.

"Salvation."

Kara laughed as loud as possible. "No, it's Hell."

Leoben frowned, "I know you are full of hate. You hate me and wish I were floating out an airlock at this moment, don't you?" Kara began to open her mouth and Leoben spoke first. He looked down at the bed, "Was a rhetorical question." He sighed, "I know the answer. I've lied to you, decieved you, broken you, hurt you, stolen four months of your life. But two things I have said to you remain true. One being that I love you." Kara lowered her head and grit her teeth. "The second being that you are special. You have a pre-written destiny that you will live out to see." Leoben laughed. Kara's head perked up at the word destiny. "That's right, you are special. Right now your in a coma and lying in sick bay. God has a plan for you and he has chosen that I come here and help you find out your destiny. Once my mission is complete, I will disappear." Leoben smiled.

Kara stared at him as if her eyes were boring holes into him. "And what is this destiny of mine?" She questioned him. Answers to questions that she had long wanted.

"You are not ready to know yet. Plus, telling you now would ruin the suspense." He laughed and Kara frowned. "Cheer up. Your destiny is important but you must first understand your existence; why you suffered and why you hurt. Once you understand, the truth will be revealed to you. But before you can complete your destiny, you gotta do something." Leoben laughed.

"What's that?" Kara's eyes narrowed. He says "sleep with me", I'll kill him.

"You gotta sell your soul." He said seriously.

Kara laughed. "I don't make deals with the devil."

Leoben smiled devilishly, "But I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse."

The Way Things Weren't fanfic part 7 "The Games We Play"

2007-02-15T04:11:24Z

Kara turned off her car and pulled the key out. She was wearing her black sunglasses to mask her bloodshot eyes. Her hair was still wet from not being dried after her shower. Kara opened up her door and looked out the window as she did so. She sighed at the sight she saw: Lee and Lindsay together. Kara was to meet up with the new nuggets and train them the basics of viper controls. To her misfortune, Lee and Lindsay were right in her path to the vipers. She pulled her other foot out of the car and hopped out. Her paint splattered jacket sat in the passengers seat. She reached over and picked it up. Slam! The car door shut hard. Kara was taking out her fusterations at the entire situation.

She began to make her way towards Lee and Lindsay, trying her best to ignore them. Though she tried to block them from her mind, they were all she saw. She pretended that it didn't phase her, but the thought of him with her was getting under her skin. She imagined they didn't exist yet they were all she could think about. She sighed out in anger and was fast approaching the two.

Lee saw Kara walking towards them and turned his head towards Lindsay. He tried to pretend Kara wasn't there. He tried to focus only on Lindsay but all he could think about was Kara. Snapping back to reality, he saw Lindsay looking at him with a confused look on her face. "Yeah, I understand." Lee placed his hands upon the sides of her shoulders.

Lindsay smiled, "Good." She leaned in and kissed him.

Kara passed right by Lee and Lindsay as they began to lock lips. Kara glared at him and then looked away. Lee saw her discontent. His face fell immediately after Kara passed them. Feeling terrible, he pried Lindsay off him and smiled. "I have to talk to Lt. Thrace." He kissed her on the forward. "I'll talk to you later. We'll go and have lunch."

She grinned and looked up at him, "okay."

Lee kissed her one more time and ran off after Kara. Making his way down the hallway, he saw Kara a few feet away and called to her, "KARA!" He walked faster to catch up to her.

Kara heard him and flinched for a moment but continued her brisk pace. She didn't want to talk to him.

"KARA!" Lee called again but again, she ignored him. "KARA!" He grew impatient as he called to her through shallow breaths.

She stopped and threw her hands up. She turned in his direction with a pissed off look on her face. "What the frak do you want, Lee?" Kara's eyes narrowed, hate spilling out of them. "Oh and don't say 'you' because that's a bunch of bull shit. I met Lindsay yesterday. You know? Your girlfriend. You left that out for what was it, oh yeah, a year. She's a sweet girl. Wonder what she's doing with an ass like you." Kara got up in Lee's face. Her eyes showed her hurt and fusteration, only making Lee feel worse and angry at the same time.

"Like you are in any position to lecture me! You slept with my brother!" He stepped right up in her face.

Kara looked like she was about to punch him. "Does it matter? First off, you had a girlfriend you neglected to mention BEFORE I ever slept with Zak. Secondly, I didn't know he was your brother."

"Oh, gee Kara. The name Adama should be quite familiar to you." Lee laughed in a teasing manner.

"We were both drunk. It was a one-night thing." Kara looked down in guilt.

"Oh, even better." Lee's eyes were angry.

Kara stepped even closer in his face. "Don't you blame me for anything. You. You. YOU have had a girlfriend. You had your frakking chance and ya blew it."

Lee laughed. "Yeah, had my chance when? In between your one-night stands with the majors from wherever and the guys you picked up in bars?"

Kara slapped him. "Did it ever occur to you I was just trying to make you jealous?" Kara had lied about more than half the people she said she had slept with.

Lee felt horrible. His guilt kicking back in. "Look Kara, I'm sorry." Lee's apology was sincere.

Kara looked down and backed off. "There's nothing you can say that can make it alright." Kara walked off, leaving Lee feeling terrible.

Zak saw Lee and Kara fighting and Kara slapping Lee. He ran up past Lee and caught up to Kara. He put his hands on her hips and smiled. "Hey."

Kara pushed him off her and frowned, "I know your new to military but relationships between two officers are strictly prohibited." Kara began walking again.

Lee watched Zak and Kara in jealousy. He was not in earshot but he could see how Zak touched her and it killed him but he knew he was to blame for his own misery.

Zak grabbed Kara by the arm and pushed her into the nearest room. It was empty. Kara looked down at the ground and Zak grabbed her chin and made her look at him. Her eyes were hurt, "we can't do this."

Zak smiled, "we've already done this." He leaned in and kissed her soft, sweet lips.

Kara looked up at him and frowned, "no Zak I can't do this." Kara pushed him off her and walked out the door.

Lee had gone back to talking to Lindsay when Kara and Zak came out of the room. Kara saw them together and her fusteration rose. Zak pushed her into the walls and looked at her with a serious face. "I want you, Miss Thrace."

Kara looked up at him and smiled coyly. She pushed him into the other side of the wall and kissed him. "We're going to get in so much trouble for this. Then again, I was never one for following the rules."

Zak laughed as he pulled Kara closer. "My dad's the commander. I'm sure he'd let me slide."

Lee looked over and saw Kara and Zak together. He frowned and Kara looked over and saw Lee's jealousy. She smiled. I'm winning.

Maelstrom fanfic part 9.0 "Deals with Devils"

2007-02-14T02:08:25Z

Kara lay dormant upon the medic cot. She looked so peaceful. Had you not known she was in a coma, you might assume she was simply sleeping and would awake at any moment. Lee sat by her bedside, grasping onto her hand tightly as if he would be the lifeline that would bring her back home. He had his head lowered, holding his and her hands up to his forehead.

The Admiral looked at Lee with such sorrowful eyes. He turned back to Cottle and his eyes turned cold. "How can you say she is medically fine?! She is lying in a frakking coma! There has to be some explanation." Adama looked hatefully at Cottle as if he were to blame.

The Doc shook his head and sighed. He took another puff of his cigarette and began, "look, medicine does not always have an explanation for everything. That's why we have religion. Hope that when medicine fails, the gods will intervene with their, divine will." Cottle laughed. "I don't know what is wrong with her. Everything indicates that she is medically fine and should be out flying vipers. She shouldn't be in a coma. That's clearly not the case." The Doc frowned. "Maybe someone more scientifically inclined would have a better explanation for Kara's current condition because quite frankly, I don't have a frakking clue as to what's wrong."

The Admiral frowned at the thought of who he would have to ask. Lee looked at his dad and the hesitance he showed. Lee got up and dropped Kara's hand. Adama looked at his son who was now fuming. Lee got right up in his father's face. "Don't you dare!" Lee pointed at Kara. "Don't you dare let her die! If I have to, I will go to Baltar myself and ask for his help. I will not let her die knowing that someone out there could have helped her." Lee's eyes showed how distraught he was.

"Guards." Adama motioned the two guards of the med bay over.

"Take my son to Gaius Baltar's cell. Then escort but him and Dr. Baltar back here with a full marine detail." Adama sighed.

"Yes sir." The guards turned to Lee and together, they exited the room.

------

Lee walked through the corridors as he had done so for so long. His life was never full of happiness. He often made the safe choices he'd later regret. He was an honorable man that's worst war was within himself. His life a series of one pain to another. FInally when things were looking up, they crashed again. His tear stained eyes focused on the dull gray corridors that were swallowing the color. He was making his way closer and closer to something he really didn't want to do.

Lee arrived at the cell door of Gaius Baltar. The guards opened the cell. Baltar was sitting with his back up against the wall and his head down. He looked up at his visitor and put on a fake smile. "Major Adama, what a pleasure."

Lee began but the words wouldn't come out. He sighed and looked down. He crossed his arms and looked back up. "I need your help."

Baltar laughed in disbelief. They'd throw me out an airlock if given the chance. Must want something bad if they are willing to come to me. He turned his attention back to Lee. "And what is it that you need?"

Lee began to break down at his own words, "Kara is ill. Doc says that there's nothing wrong with her but she's in a coma. I'd like you to help us figure out what's wrong so we can treat her."

Six stood behind Lee with a sinister smile upon her face. Baltar looked up at her. "Here is where you get your 'get out of jail free card' Gaius." She walked over to Baltar and kneeled beside him, stroking his face with her finger. "What you find out about Starbuck should be quite interesting." Six smiled at Baltar and he smiled back.

"Are you listening?" Lee looked at Baltar with anger in his eyes.

Baltar snapped back to their conversation. He smiled, "and what's in it for me?"

Lee frowned, "I'll be your defense lawyer in your upcoming trial."

------------------

Maelstrom fanfic part 4.0 "Good Huntings"

2007-02-12T22:14:26Z

Part 4.0

Kara was in her viper, her vision blurred. Should have rethought this one. She repeatedly blinked her eyes, trying to gain focus and stop herself from throwing up all over the controls. Really, really should have rethought this one. Her draidus showed three enemy raiders coming at her. Hot Dog was on her left and another nameless pilot to her right. She gave up trying to remember everyone. Even the good ones died. After Kat, there really wasn't a point in remembering who they all were when the chances were that they weren't going to make it.

"Hot Dog, you take the one on the left, you on the right, take the raider on the right. I'll go straight up the middle." Kara laughed. "This should be interesting." Kara said under her breath.

Hot Dog was the first one to make contact with the enemy. Shots were exchanged and he took down the enemy raider but one of his wings was blown clear off. "FRAK!" Hot Dog said with fear and anger in his voice. "Why does this ALWAYS happen to me?" He hit his hands on the controls and continued cursing. He was a sitting duck but there were only two raiders left.

Kara shot out at the raider in front of her. Laughing she said "Come on you son of a b i t c h." Her vision blurred again, "FRAK!" Kara was almost hit by and enemy bullet.

"Starbuck, you okay?" Hot Dog said worried.

"This metal mother frakker is going down." Kara turned her viper upside down and drove straight at the raider.

"WHAT THE FRAK ARE YOU DOING STARBUCK? ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?" Hot Dog yelled as he watched Kara do one of the stupid things just to be a show off.

Driving under the influence is one thing. Flying under the influence, frak this. "COME ON YOU FRAKKER! AHHHH!" She yelled as she shot across the raider's front and shot it clear out of the sky. Her viper was too close to the debri and a piece of the raider smacked right into her viper. Gods dam mit. Kara cursed in her mind. Two of the birds were wounded and there was still an enemy on draidus.

The other pilot attempted to take down the other enemy cylon but failed. He was shot and his viper blew to pieces.

Not good. Kara thought. We are really frakked. I'm running out of fuel. I have to take this S.O.B. down before Hot Dog and I are sitting ducks.

"Starbuck, this is Apollo, we'll be out with you in 2 minutes." Lee called over the com.

This'll be over in two minutes. Kara flipped her viper right side up, fuel leaking out of her ship. She shot across the back of the raider and missed. Yeah, REALLY REALLY REALLY bad idea to be drinking. Kara continued to miss

-----

Back on Galactica:

"What the frak is Kara doing?" the Admiral watched as Kara continued to miss.
Helo looked on in worry, "I have no idea sir." Helo placed his hands on the table and looked around.

-------

Kara finally could see clearly but was fighting all she could from throwing up. Eventually, her bullet made contact with the raider and she blasted the bird out of the sky. Starbuck put her hands on her helmet and let out a sigh. Never doing that again. Her viper's lights went out and she drifted by Hot Dog.

"Hey God, why don't you use some of that magic and get us home." Hot Dog laughed.

"I can walk on water. Not walk on space." Kara laughed.

Maelstrom fanfic part 3 "Giving Up"

2007-02-12T22:12:35Z

Part 3

Lee stepped into the weight room and looked at Kara who was still lying upon the floor crying, the broken punching bag in front of her. He had never seen her break down like this before. Usually Kara got drunk or cut off everyone, but here she was, crying in the middle of a public area. Lee took two steps towards her and looked down. Kara looked up at him with tear stained eyes and he stopped. She wiped her tears off on her jacket and put on a "tough" face. She sniffed her nose and stood up looking Lee right in the eyes.

"Hello, major." Her voice was still shakey and her head was still filled with memories. Her mother's voice rang on in her ears.
Lee looked at her. His eyes were filled with sympathy and hurt. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and erase her pain but he knew Kara all too well. She was likely to shove him over and rush out the door. "Kara--"

Lee barely began his sentence before Kara ran into his arms and hugged him. She cried on his shoulder and Lee stood there a minute; dumbfounded. He slowly put his hands on her back and embraced her. In her mind she heard her mother's voice again "Little Kara, crying to her knight. Weak as usual." Kara broke off her hug with Lee and took a step back. She looked him in the eyes, hers beginning to well with tears again. She looked down upon the floor, memories of pain and love and hurt flying thru her head. She couldn't bring down Lee again. This time, she was going to fall on her own.

She looked back up at Lee, unable to speak. She walked right past him and he grabbed her arm, stopping her from exiting. She turned and looked at him, pain echoed in her face. Lee immediately let go. And took a step back. A tear ran down Kara's eye and she was off. She stepped outside the door to the weight room and breathed in. Lee was still looking at her. She ran off to be alone in her bunk. Anything was better than hitting the bar.

---------

Inside the Med. Bay.

The blue curtain was covering the patient's quarter. She sat down upon the bed, worried. Terrified. The possibility of death had plagued her for so long and she had thought it was all over. Of course it's always when you think it's over, is when you are never really done.. She drummed her fingers along her leg. She looked around her at the blue curtain. Afraid. She was afraid of what the results might bring. Bad news? Good? What could it be? As she was getting lost in thought, Doc Cottle drew the curtain.

She looked up at him, that old man always smoking cigarettes was possibly going to outlive her. How unfair life is.

--------

Tigh is in his quarters, sitting upon his bed and day dreaming of Ellen. His memories are haunting him. Her last words echoing in his ears "I did this for you, Saul." "And I did this to me by doing that to you." He got up from his bed and pulled out a bottle of alcohol. His last bottle. He had been downing the bottles everyday. His bad call cost him his XO status. Being under the influence was the problem. He stared at the bottle, hate in his eyes. He lost his wife, hurt his friend, and was forced to remember his hell everytime he looked in the mirror. His missing eye his gift from being on New Caprica. He looked at the bottle and grabbed something out from his side. A gun.

----------

There would be news of death today. Each passing day someone dies. Each passing day some soul perishes and they are never really remembered. They are forgotten. They disappear completely. They leave you with nothing but pain. To hear news of one's passing or to hear the news of your own is a pain that all the alcohol in the world can't cure. And each day you are forced to live with it, even if it isn't a long time to live.

She closed her eyes and waited for the Doc's diagnosis.

---------

Tigh cocked the gun and looked at it. His hate killing him.

--------

Kara was about to enter the bunks when she turned and headed off toward the bar. And sometimes you just can't fight the pain and you succumb to self-loathing...even when it's not you you should be hating.---Flash to Kara in bar drinking and drinking.

"Action stations, action stations---" She could hear the familiar voice over the com. She stumbled out of her seat and headed off to her viper. And sometimes we just don't even care anymore.

---------

Hangar Deck-

Kara hopped into her viper and looks at Lee as she is being put in the tubes.

-------

"Galactica actual here." Admiral Adama spoke into the com.
"We still haven't found her. She isn't answering our call either." Lee lowered his head.
"Frak!" Hot Dog hit the side of his viper, upset over this current failure.
Admiral Adama hesitated, he didn't know what to say. His last words to her ringing in his ears. He sighed out and spoke, "Bring home our girl, Lee. Don't stop searching. You have your orders."
Lee smiled, "Yes sir." His smile fell. Out there somewhere, he was either going to find an unconcious Kara, or a blown up viper. And he didn't like either of these thoughts.

Maelstrom part 2 "Everything Breaks"

2007-02-12T22:06:24Z

Part 2

Lee stood outside his father's door, debating whether or not he should enter. He was worried about Kara but was it really his place to bring in the old man? Especially since he knew that Kara and his father were not on the best of terms. He outstretched his arm, about to grab the handle when he put it down. He's the one thing Kara needs right now, and the one person who would shut her out. Lee turned back around and made his way back out towards the pilot bunks.

Adama moved around on his couch. Squueakkk. The noise of his movement was the only noise in the room. He looked at the door, sensing that someone was out there. He waited, staring intently in the direction of the door. Five minutes passed without anyone making an entrance. He stood up, opened a cabinet, pulled out some ambrosia and a glass, and sat down at his desk. Staring at the glass. Staring at the drink. Thinking.

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Kara was in the weight room, blowing off steam. There was no one to spar with today so she pulled out the punching bag and laid out her fusterations on it. She poured all her anger, all her hate, all her hurt onto the bag. Each punch taking away some of her pain. Each punch wreaking of what she was trying to escape. She hit the bag faster and hard. Faster. Harder.

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"One day you'll be like me. You'll join the military. You'll follow my footsteps. You'll defend your planet and your friends, like you were never able to defend yourself." A drunken woman was holding a cup of alcohol in her hand, swishing the drink back and forth. She took another sip. One sip past too much. "My special, little Kara." She laughed the way a crazy, drunk person would. Crazy, drunk, pretty much summed up this woman.

"I don't want to be in the military. I don't want to become like you. You are my perfect example though." Kara said with anger in her heart. Fusteration in her eyes. Sorrow in her soul.

"And what is this perfect example?" She slammed the cup onto the counter. Shatter. Her hand was cut, bleeding, dripping that crimson liquid. She laughed sadistically.

"Are you okay?" Kara said in an unsympathetic voice.

She continued to laugh. "Suffering is good for the soul. No pain, no gain, right?" She threw the glass pieces on the ground, laughing all the while. "Take off your shoes." She stopped laughing and looked sternly at Kara.

Kara looked at her like she was just a raving drunk, "Why the hell would I do that?"

The woman's face fell. She glared at Kara and made her way over to one of the cubboards. She came out holding a ruler and looking angrily at Kara. "Because I said so." She got right up in Kara's face, her breath hitting Kara's face. Breath reeking of alcohol and cigarettes.

Kara scooted back her chair and looked at her mom with disgust. "Frak you." Kara was slouching in her chair with her arms crossed giving the woman a defiant look.

The woman's eyes filled with rage. She smacked the ruler on the desk. Snap. It broke in two. Unable to contain her anger, she grabbed Kara's chin with her hand and laughed. "You are 12 now. You should have learned by now."

Kara spit in the woman's face and laughed. "I don't take orders from you anymore."

The woman smacked Kara over the head with the ruler. Kara looked around, light headed, unable to see her surroundings. Everything around her was getting blurry. Her eyes were getting heavy. Blood began to trickle down from her forehead. The last thing she remembered was being dragged out of the kitchen and then everything went black.

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Kara hit the bag hard and harder. The bag began snapping back and forth. Her eyes seeing the woman's face in her mind. Her mother's face, that voice. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol. Her voice ringing in her ears "you are going to be just like me one day". Kara drove her knuckles deeper and deeper into the bag. The rubbing of her gloves and her knuckles caused her pain but she ignored it. She continued to pour her anger out onto the inanimate object. Harder. Faster. Harder. Faster. Snap. The bag flew off it's chain.

Kara looked around at the empty room and fell to the floor. Tears filled her eyes "You should have learned by now". Her mother's voice rang in her ears.

Standing in the corner of the room was Adama Sr. staring on at this wreck of a woman. Staring on at something he had once called a daughter. Looking on at the monster that was taking hold of her. He lowered his head and a tear fell down his cheek. The man with all the right words had nothing to say. He stepped out of the room as quietly as he had came.

Lee crossed his father's path as he saw his dad looked upset. Adama Sr. just looked at him. He didn't smile. He didn't speak. He just looked at him and walked on. Lee turned around and watched his father leave. Lee's curiousity took hold. He went into the weight room and saw a broken Kara down on the floor with tears in her eyes. In all the time he had known her, he had never seen her break down like this. He had never seen her just cry. It broke Lee a little to see that even the strongest of people fall down. Even the toughest people eventually break.

Maelstrom fanfic Part 1- "Unforgettable Past"

2007-02-12T21:58:13Z

Part 1

"Starbuck, this is Apollo. Do you read me?" Lee said with worry in his voice.
"Hey God, don't go dying on us now." Hot Dog tried to make a joke of the situation. Lee didn't find it funny.
"Starbuck, are you out there? Starbuck?--Kara?" He said her name with sorrow in his voice. Starbuck's viper had been shot down by a surprise ambush by the cylons. Her viper went off their draidus but that didn't mean she was dead. No, she can't be dead. Lee thought to himself. Hell, Starbuck will probably outlive us all.
"Hey Starbuck, stop sleeping and answer us." Hot Dog called out in his com.
No answer from Kara's side.
"Kara, please. Answer." Lee was worried now. It had only been 10 minutes since the news that her viper had been lost and yet to Lee, it felt like an eternity.
"Starbuck? Hey Starbuck?---Starbuck?" Hot Dog's voice drifted away.

48 HOURS EARLIER

Starbuck was lying in her bunk, staring up at the metal of the bunk above. Her mind swarmed with thoughts, things, people, the past. "Your special Kara. You just need to grow a spine before you can see your true potential." A cold voice of a woman rang in her ears. She turned in her bunk hoping that she could somehow block out the voice in her head. "Your the problem Kara. Your the cancer that infects all you love and destroys everything it touches." Kara turned again, unable to think of anything but that voice. This time when she turned, Lee was standing before her.

"Having trouble sleeping, Captain?" Lee sat down by her bunk, a worried look on his face. Ever since Lee had touched on his mother issues, Kara had been acting funny.

"I'm fine, Lee." Kara was obviously lying. Lee saw right thru it.

"Kara, no matter what we are...what this is...you are and will always be my friend. I've told you this before, and I'll say it again, if there's anything you ever need, anything you ever want to talk about, I'm here for you." Lee gave her a sincere look.

Your just gonna' hurt him in the end, Kara. Just look at all you've done to those you love? The voice rang and echoed in her ears. "Lee, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Fine Kara... Are you okay?" Lee looked at her and caught her eye. They stayed locked and Kara looked ready to cry.

Her defenses rose and she fought back her tears. "Unresolved issues is all."

"With what?" Lee looked confused.

"With who." Kara turned back to facing the bottom of the top bunk.

A flash, a memory replayed in her mind.

A blonde girl, no older than seven was sitting at a table staring at the clock, counting the seconds as they ticked by. Three, two, one. A door slammed open, and slammed shut. The girl laid her head upon the table. Her mother had the same routine. She was never late home and were the house not to her expectations, she would serve out the punishment she saw fit.

She threw her jacket down on the table, hitting the child in the face. The child didn't move, paralyzed by fear, terror.

"Did you clean the house?" She headed towards the fridge. Opened it up and pulled out a beer.

"Yes." The child remained with her head down on the table.

"To standard?" She inquired.

"Yes, momma." The girl put her hands up on the table. Each one of her knuckles was bandaged. Each one broken, bruised, hurt, just like her. "I learned my lesson the last time."

"When I say to do something, you do it and you have it done when I expect it. Your going to be disciplined. Your going to grow a spine. Your special Kara. You'll see it one day. Once you stop painting these stupid drawings (points to the fridge where marvelous drawings of circles and shapes are) and stop writing sappy poetry. Your too much like your father." She leaned against the counter, looking at her daughter with piercing eyes.

The girl looked away, avoided eye contact. "Yes, momma."

"Be obedient. Be disciplined. Be subjugated. And one day, you'll understand your destiny Kara. Your special. If only you would cut your crap, I wouldn't have to beat you into understanding." She placed her beer bottle on the counter at looked at her daughter, Kara Thrace, in disgust.
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"Kara?" Lee was worried. Kara was just staring away.

"You can't forget your past...can you, Lee?" Kara looked at him with saddened eyes.