"...I love you." Kara spoke softly as their eyes locked onto each others. She was looking into his soul and seeing the man she truly cared for. She was seeing the one she wished she could have. But this was what they both knew had been coming. They both knew that it just couldn't be. They could come up with a thousand reasons why they should be together, but then they'd come up with a million excuses for why they shouldn't. It was as if they were pushed together by attraction, sexual tension, and love, but pulled apart by pain, tragedy, and fear. They could overcome the world but they could not overcome each other. Neither believed they were good for the other. Kara knew, in her heart, she would destroy Lee. He was too good a man and she couldn't be selfish and take that away from him. Lee knew Kara was destined for greatness; that the world would not hold her back. He didn't want to be the one to hold her back.

Lee turned to face Kara. He looked down at her and saw her suffering and pain. He wished, more than anything, that he could love her and be with her. Lee wrapped his arms around her and breathed her in slowly. She placed her fingertips onto his back and rested her chin into his chest. A single tear fell down her face but she made no noise. Their breathing was shallow and seemed to be in unison. In that moment, they became one. Lee turned his lips to her head and gently kissed it. "I love you, too." Their warm embrace drove away all the cold emotion of the funeral. The sun seemed brighter, the air seemed warmer, everything felt right. Nothing is as it seems though. Nothing is ever wrong but nothing is ever right.

Kara pulled herself away from him and wiped away her tear. She looked away, unable to look him in the eyes to say goodbye. How she wished things could be different. How she hoped that everything would one day work out and they could find a way to be together. Fate played them for fools and brought them to this point, the point of no return. "And I always will but you and I both know we can't do this. We can't." 

She walked over to the bench where she had spoke to Bill an hour earlier. She sat down upon it and looked at all the graves in the cemetary; the ones with flowers and the ones without. The people forgotten and the people still loved. Kara hadn't visited her mother's grave since her funeral. She felt terrible, as if she had been a frak-up in her mother's eyes and that she was shaming her everyday she messed up. She didn't want to do the same thing to Zak. She promised herself she would visit his grave. She promised herself that she would not forget him. Kara didn't want to shame his memory by being with Lee. Betraying his lost life by forgetting him. She placed her head in her hands and let out a sigh.

Lee sat down besides her and put his hand upon her lap. She was vulnerable, distraught, guilt-ridden. He wanted to help her. It was then he realized that this was the closest he had really ever been with Kara. Sex was just a physical connection. It sometimes meant more but this was the closest, emotionally, he had ever been to her. She had a wall that seemed unbreakable but he had found his way in. He had gotten to her, gotten under her skin. Lee had become her drug. She craved a fix. She needed his touch. Kara couldn't push him away completely. She wanted one more hit but she resisted. She fought herself. Head vs. heart. For once, her head was winning.

Kara laughed and Lee looked at her confused. He failed to find anything humorous. He stared blankly at her. Kara turned to face him with a big goofy grin on her face. "Do you think it would have worked? If I hadn't--" She started but Lee cut in.

"Kara, we can't live in the if's and and's. What is just is. We can't undo what's been done. I wish we could. I wish I would have told you how I felt. I wish things were different but they aren't and they can't be. We're stuck. Trapped by things we couldn't control." Lee looked down at his feet and closed his eyes.

"Sucks." Kara giggled, trying to make light of the situation. Lee chuckled with her. "Promise me one thing, Lee." She looked at him. 

He raised his head and looked at her with sincere eyes. "Anything."

She smiled, "Just always be my friend. Promise me that. That you'll always be my friend." She turned away from him. "I know I'm a mess. I screw up. I hurt people. I fight with them for no reason. Just promise me you won't leave." She looked at him, "Promise me we'll always be okay." Kara extended her hand to him. "Friends?" 

Lee looked at her hand and resisted a frown. He knew that they would never be just friends. She knew they would never be just friends. You can't be just friends. They'll fight and they'll frak and they'll love but they can't go back to the beginning. Lee was right about one thing, things can't be undone. They'll never be as they were. They'll always be tainted by past memories. The taste of her lips, the scent of her hair. The touch of his skin, the warmth of his smile. The feelings would not just disappear. They'd be ever present. They'll pretend to be friends, but that's not all they'll be. That's something they can never be. He grabbed her hand and smiled. "Friends."

A lie. A lie they both desparately clung to. They knew they should let go of the hope they had. They should resist the feelings but neither could let go. Both of them held onto the hope and clung to the dream. They loved each other too much to just walk away completely. The feelings wouldn't disappear. Every night spent with another would be a night they longed to feel the sun again. Every time they laid in the bed of another, they'd feel the cold. Only together would the warmth return. They were nowhere warm. They were no where at all. The vivid colors disappeared. The light became cold once again.

Kara stood up and smiled at Lee. "Bye, Captain." 

"Bye, Lt."

They'll never be friends. They can never be just friends.The moment she walked away, his heart stopped beating. The moment she left him, the world felt darker.

THE END

Sequel story: Beautiful Oblivion

Tags: adama, apollo, battlestar, bsg, fanfic, galactica, kara, lee, starbuck, the way things weren't, thrace

The picture of the deceased Zak Adama sat in a plastic black frame upon a stand to the left of the white casket where he would be laid to rest. All that remains of him now is the distant memory of his face and the sharp sound of his name. One day, there will be nothing but a blurred face of a handsome man lost in an accident. He'll become one of the lost who drift to a place of the forgotten. His passing was saddening. The faces of all the funeral attendees were filled with grief and sorrow. Not one wore a smile and not one showed a glint of happiness. The grass was a beautiful green that glowed as the sun beat down upon it. The wind was nice and cool as the trees rustled about yet the air wreaked of pain and despair. Not a person there looked to the greater purpose; that the gods have an unseen plan. Men are not gods. They don't see the purpose so they search for a reason. Their final conclusion is that it just is. But it isn't. It is never is as it seems. There is more to everything but we just don't know it. We don't see the meaning and so we cry and we curse the gods but we don't see. Zak's death served a higher purpose. His death brought Kara to Bill Adama and Bill Adama transferred her aboard the Battlestar Galactica. In two years, the cylons would come in and overrun all that was once considered home. But because of Zak's untimely passing, Kara would be safe aboard the Battlestar Galactica. We cannot see the future therefore we do not see the purpose.

Kara silently walked towards the burial site. Her feet lightly touched the ground as if one wrong step would result in her falling into the dirt and being buried beneath the grounds of time. Her soul was slipping and her mind was racing. She couldn't bear to be around the man she considered a father in front of the grave of his son, who she felt, she had killed. Though she hadn't put a gun to his temple and shot him, she felt as if she had. That by her passing him, she killed him. She was to blame. Her. No one else but her. The noise of the sobbing people around her crushed her inside. She wished she could run away but she knew she could never forgive herself if she did. She knew that this is where she should be. This was where she belonged. All her past mistakes were before her now and she had to face them. She had to face the one man she loved and face the one she had lost. She wished she could disappear and fade into wind. The cold light of day beat down upon her. She felt no heat. She felt no warmth. Lost. She was lost in herself; washed away in the harsh tides.

--------------

Lee stepped out of a black car. His black shoes clapped down as they hit contact with the tar ground. He squinted at the bright light. It was a drastic change from the darkness in the car. Lee turned around and extended his hand out to his mother. She clasped tightly onto his arm and pulled herself up. She was drunk. Her eye liner was streaming down her face with her tears. Little black rivers of sorrow running down her face. Lee was hurting, sad, broken. His brother was gone and he blamed all of this on his father. He knew why Zak was in the military. He knew how he had come that far. He needed someone to shovel his guilt onto. Kara and his tryst in the park was like a stab in the back to Zak. He felt bad and felt guilty. He felt as if he had let down his brother and now he could never apologize. Ashamed. He was ashamed and he wanted to push all of that onto his dad. He wanted to hate Bill and blame him for something that neither of them could have seen coming. It was irrational but that's how Lee could live with himself. That was how he got by.

He held his mother onto his arm and slowly slipped away into his mind as they walked towards the funeral site. He hated his mother just as much as he hated his father but for different reasons. His father emotionally abused him and his mother physically abused him. Part of the reason he had always been envious of Zak was because he was their mother's favorite. She loved him and she hurt him less. Lee being the older brother, tried to step in and take most of the abuse. He took the hits to spare his brother yet Zak still got the girl in the end. Zak swooped in and stole her away. He couldn't help but be angry with his brother for passing away. It wasn't his fault. He knew that Zak didn't want to die. But Zak's death took away any chance he ever had with Kara. He loved her so much but he knew she would shut him out. He knew she would push him away. He wished he could be anywhere but here. He couldn't bare to be around her and not be able to touch her. He felt terrible that he was at his brother's funeral and still wanted her. He was going to be around three people in the world he could never stand up to. Surrounded by the people he loved the most in the world yet hated them just as much: his mother, his father, and the love of his life.

--------

Kara's feet planted themselves down besides Zak's grave and a look of forlorn crossed her face. Empty. She was slowly losing herself. She felt as if she could just lay down in the dirt and allow them to bury her alive. So much guilt and so much blame. This burden was weighing her down and the pressure was crushing her. Her secrets were like a necklace around her throat that slowly turned her blue. Choking her. Killing her. Being around all these people mourning Zak's loss completely destroyed her. She was silent yet inside she was screaming. She was bleeding internally so no one could see. She had lost her mother, never really knew her father, killed her lover, and abandoned another. What was she? Was she destined to frak up? Was she meant to hurt everyone around her? She couldn't help but feel helpless. She could take on the world but she couldn't face down herself. The mirror was her enemy and Zak was the one who had broken it. She knew she shouldn't have let him in and look what her weakness and brought. Pain, grief, sorrow, tears. 

Nothing good in this life lasts. Sex, anger, hate, love, life, it's all just moments. It's just minutes. I live for the moments that make me happy and die for the ones that make me cry. I mess up and I hurt people around me. But I don't just hurt them, I hurt the others who care about them. I break myself constantly and try to pick back up my broken pieces. I'm better off alone. I can't hurt anyone that way. I can't destroy anyone else. I live for this moment. These moments. This breath. This second. This is life. This is it's meaning. We don't live based around our good times and bad. We live on the moments that make us happy. We breathe in the moments that took our breath away. That's what we hold onto. That's all I have left to cling to. I break yet I tape myself together. My scars are there to remind me that I have to hold on. I can't let go. I can't slip away and lose myself again. I can't be weak. Isn't that what Momma taught me? Weakness was bad. She was right. My weakness brought on the death of another. Weakness. I can't be weak. I can't give into Lee. I have to stay strong. I'll break myself to save him, but I won't be weak. Kara thought to herself. She was about to commit suicide of the soul. She was going to let go of the one of the last things she had so desparately clung to. Something she believed would work out in the end. It was what kept her going but now it was the one thing that brought her down.

-----

Lee arrived at the funeral site with his mother still clasping onto his arm. He stood across from Kara and stared into her. Her eyes were down and she appeared to be drowning in thought. He could see she was fighting back tears and all he wanted to do was tell her it would be okay. He wanted to tell her it was alright. It was in that moment that Lee knew what had to be done. He knew that they had to part ways. If something is meant to be, it will work out in the end. He couldn't do this to her. He wanted her but it was selfish. She was hurt, broken, torn. For him to be with her now, he felt like he would be taking advantage of her in her current state. That's not who he was. That's not something he could do. It would kill him, but he had to do it. He had to let her go.

--------------

The funeral began but both Lee and Kara were lost in thought. Minutes passed. Time felt as if it had stopped. Lee was motioned to place his brother's pins down upon the coffin. He slowly stepped away from his mother and placed his down upon the coffin top. He didn't immediately move his hand. This was his final goodbye to his brother. Their final parting of ways. He turned his head down and looked away. Slowly, he turned back around and held onto his mother. The coffin descended into the ground making a clicking sound every foot it dropped.

Kara snapped at the sound. A tear fell down her eye and Bill held her hand. Her eyes watered up as Zak was placed down beneath the ground. A fallen friend, a beaten brother, and a lost lover. He was dead to the world yet his prescence lingered about. The crowd began to disperse and Lee's mother ran off. Bill let go of Kara's hand and gave her a warm, comforting smile. He went after his ex-wife leaving Kara and Lee alone.

Lee looked up at Kara and made his way towards her. He stood by her side but she didn't look up. She had her eyes fixated on Zak's grave and his eyes were focused on Kara's beauty. They were silent but both of them knew what was coming. Both of them knew that this was the bitter end. 

Kara darted her eyes in his direction and slightly opened her mouth. A tear fell down her cheek and Lee immediately brushed it away with his hand. She closed her eyes, unable to looked at him. "Lee..."

To Be Continued.

Tags: adama, apollo, battlestar, bill, bsg, fanfic, funeral, galactica, kara, lee, starbuck, the way things weren't, thrace, zak

The light of the sun cast a shining glow of white that fell through the trees and snuck past the green leaves. The sneaking light fell down upon the freshly dug soil where the casket of Zak Adama was to be laid. The air smelt of death as the funeral attendees started exiting their cars with gloomy eyes and sorrowful faces. Such a beatiful scenery but the mood tragic. The wind rustled the leaves and a single leaf fell down upon the freshly cut, green grass. The noise of car doors slamming were the only noises made besides the sobbing cries of the women making their way across the street.

Kara was sitting down upon a stone bench with her hands placed on her lap. She was sitting before a grave not yet old from years of wasting in the cemetary. It was a newer stone, a newer grave. It lay beneath a tree, lost in the shadows. A tear slipped down her face as she read and reread the epitaph upon it. Bill silently made his way over to her and read what the epitaph said. He heaved out a long sigh. Kara already knew he was there and wiped the tear from her eye. Bill sat down besides Kara and placed his hands on her shoulders to console her.

Kara smiled a fake smile. She was trying to convince Bill she was okay but she couldn't even convince herself she was okay. She cleared her throat, searching for the right words to say. Death steals the breath of the youth and the elderly. It has a way of stealing the breath of those left living. Kara felt the pain to breathe. She had been unfaithful to Zak. Her guilt still racked her mind. It pained her to think of the pleasures she had sought and who it was she had sought them from. She hung her head and opened her mouth, exhaling slowly; sadly. Another tear found it's way down her cheek. It slipped down her lips and fell to the ground.

Maybe the grass had not been made green and fresh by the water from the sprinklers. Maybe the green is caused by the tears of those who come here to mourn and grieve for their lost loves or their lost friends. Maybe in this world, we recieve and we have things stolen. We take our blessings and recieve the curses. For everything to continue forth and not stop, we must lose. We must gain and then have something taken. A cycle. An endless circle. Our tears replenish the world from which we are born. We continue this cycle. We live and we lose. We all will die one day. It's only what we do in this day that defines us. Will we be remembered forever? Will our lives have some importance in the world around us? Or will we greatly impact the life of someone else who will in turn impact the life of another and so on and so forth so that they will do something that will change the world? Maybe we just don't know yet the importance of the decisions we make. We don't see that the outcomes that affect those around us, may one day affect others we will never meet in our lifetime. Kara thought silently to herself. The words in her head could not be spoken. She was still stuck in between a land of living and a land of the living dead; those struck with grief, holding onto that which should be let go. 

"It's true. What it says about her." She laughed. "Fierce and firey. Heart of stone but caring." Another tear fell down upon the green grass. Another tear to build the world upon. "Almost everyone dies before they have actually lived." She turned her head in Bill's direction and smiled, "Do you believe in the Gods, sir?" Her eyes showed a longing for someone to be her friend in her time of need. 

Bill was more than willing to comply. He wanted to be a father to her. A missing part of her life now found. A lost part of his life now regained. His son was dead, to be buried in the dirt today yet he had found something, someone, who was lost and he had taken her under his wing. He wanted to help her. He wanted to guide her. He wanted to be like a father to this poor lost girl who had been misguided, mistreated, and had lost so much. He looked into her eyes and he saw her potential. She was special. She was destined for more than a life of pain and grief. She was destined for greatness.

 "Not really. I'm more of--a skeptic." He chuckled and Kara giggled. "And don't call me sir." He gave her a warm smile.

All her life she had longed for acceptance from someone, anyone. She had for so long wanted a lover to love her unconditionally, yet he had wound up dead and she had feared that Lee would be soon to follow were he to be with her. But Bill, he was like the dad she had not gotten to know well. Her father had left when she was young. Too young to remember. Kara always dreamed he'd come and rescue her from the cruelty of her mother. She had convinced herself he had left because of her and with the child abuse and that, she hated her mother. Despised her. Yet she loved her. Her twisted sense of life had made Kara stronger. She only ever wanted her approval. She wanted to hear her mother say she was proud of her. Never did those words spill from her cold lips. Her mother had destroyed her and yet had made her into a warrior. Fearless of all except one thing. One thing was she terrified of: Death. And now here she was in a cemetary.

"I believe in the gods. I try to. I have to believe that there is a reason for why people die before their time. There has to be a reason for it. If I don't have this belief...." Her head fell and her eyes looked down to her hands. Her hands reminding her of the fractures, the breaks, the pain. "...then I have nothing. I have to have faith. Hope. That's what keeps me going in the face of the unknown. Hope of survival. Hope that you can overcome all that life throws at you. In my case, I tend to handle things wrong but that's not the point." Kara laughed and Bill smiled. "I learned a long time ago that life is hard and I learned that crying solved nothing. It didn't bring the dead back to life. It didn't change the things that made me cry. I got tired of feeling sorry for myself. Sure, I substituted alcohol for tears but I at least learned to be stronger. And I think everything happens for a reason. If I hadn't made that switch from tears to alcohol, I would have never gone to a bar to drink myself away. I would have never met a man with the last name Adama. And though he's now gone, he left me with someone else to call friend." She smiled at Bill. "He also showed me that I could be loved and that I could accept that love. Loved ones never leave us slowly. They leave us as fast as they came with nothing but shattered dreams and broken memories. And now, my acceptance is gone and I don't know if I can accept that love again from any other."

Bill wiped the tears from her cheek and tried to fight back his own. "I always wanted a daughter. Someone who I could be protective over. Someone who would bring home the wrong guys and I would disapprove of. I could shoot my death glares at him at the dinner table and tell her that she deserves better. Someone to be my little girl. My wife believed, both times, that she was going to have a girl. So both times, I expected to have a girl. Both times it was a boy. I was never disappointed. I was blessed with two sons but I still wish we could have gone for three. Third ones the charm." He smiled. "I guess that if the gods are who are pulling the strings, then I'll believe in that for my son may be gone but he has left me with a new gift. He has left me with you." He smiled. "I've only known you for a short time but I care for you, Kara. Your a vital part of the crew and you've become family to me. The gods have taken and now I have been given something else. Something unexpected yet appreciated nonetheless." He leaned in and hugged Kara who gingerly stuck her fingers on his shoulder, tears welling within her eyes.

In this moment, she had gained after a great loss. A balance restored. Recieved after a taking. She had wanted someone to believe in her. She needed someone to believe in. She had found it. Though she had thought that it would be the man she would one day call husband, it wasn't the case. She had found the man she would one day consider a father. A man that believed in her. A man to love her like a daughter and care for her like a father would. He would be the man that would tell her she deserved better. The man that would scare away the undeserving men. She had found her light in her dark hour. 

The wind rustled the leaves and a single leaf wafted along with the wind. The leaf gently glided to the tombstone which Kara and Bill had been looking at. The words were engraved in the stone "Socrata Thrace. Devoted Mother. One Hell Of A Woman. She'll Never Be Forgotten." Bill stood up and patted Kara's shoulder before heading off in the direction of the priest. Today was a mournful day but it her conversation with Bill had lightened the burdens upon her soul.

She looked down at her damaged hands. Maybe some scars will never be forgotten but maybe they can heal. They'll heal but the signs of the damage will always remain. My scars may one day be fixed. May one day be healed. They could be helped but never forgotten. Maybe the damage done could one day lessen and my heart will love again. You gave me this gift, Zak and for that, I am forever grateful. If I could tell you just one thing. It's that I'll be okay and that you shouldn't worry about me. Worrying is wasteful and useless because I'll be okay. I'll be fine. I won't drown myself with tears of despair over your untimely departure. I'll have faith in the plans the gods have laid and I will believe that this is the way it was meant to be. Though I miss you, I'll be okay. I'll never forget you. I am not broken. I am damaged. Death visited me and stole away your life. I'll live my life out for the both of us. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry about my infedelities. I'm sorry I couldn't remain yours. With these damaged hands, this damaged soul, I will live without worry. I will live without care. You helped free me from some of the constrictions of my life. Thank you. I love you. A tear fell down her face as she fell to her knees and slowly crawled to her mother's grave.

Momma, I'm sorry for leaving you alone. I'm sorry for abandoning you. I never meant what I said. I was upset. Upset that all I ever did was never enough for you. I was angered over you never saying you were proud of my accomplishments. You constantly belittled and beat me. I want to believe that there was a reason for this. You made me stronger. Your passing has helped me deal with Zak's but I can't accept your death. I was afraid. Afraid that I couldn't bear to see you die. I've never watched anyone die. I've seen the bodies but I've never watched someone's life leave them in a single breath. I wasn't strong enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I don't make you proud. I loved you though. Despite your cruelty, I loved you more than you may ever know. You were a bitch, but you were my mom. You raised me. You supported me. Though you beat me, I want to believe you loved me. Kara ran her hands across the cold tombstone and closed her eyes. "Momma?" She whispered softly. "Did you ever love me?"

The wind blew through the trees. Maybe the wind whispers the secrets of others yet it's whispers are too silent to be heard. Maybe the dead try to speak to us through the wind. Words we can't cling to from people we can't even see. The departed are like the wind. They are ever present yet never seen. We exist because of them. Kara's words were whispered into the wind and were only heard by the trees. If a tree could speak, imagine the wonders it would speak of. Imagine the murders and lies it has heard. But some things should remain unheard. And maybe some things are left to be unknown. 

A tear fell down Kara's face. It's a sad world. A world where the people are their own worst enemies and the murderers make sense. A crazy world where people kill for the shoes on another's feet. Where the good die young and the evil lives on. The tears cleanse the world. Such a sorrowful thing. A world built upon tears.

Tags: adama, admiral, battlestar, bill, bsg, captain, commander, fanfic, galactica, kara, starbuck, thrace
Current Mood: sad

Kara was talking to one of the deck hands who had removed Zak's body from the cock pit of the burning viper. His hands were covered in blood. Zak's blood. Kara had to turn away from him in order to stop herself from breaking down again. He was talking but his voice was coming in and out. She could hardly hear him talking anymore; his mouth moved but the words were drowned out. "...morgue...Adama...." His voice cut in and out through her drifting mind. The words she did hear were like knives being jabbed into her already damaged heart. She shook her head and said nothing. The man gave her a consoling look. One of those looks where the person thinks they know what your going through and feels bad for you. A fake gesture of caring. A look seen so much yet rarely meant.

The deck hand sighed and left Kara alone. She turned her eyes to the ground when she saw two black shoes in front of her. Her eyes darted upward and found a man taller than she, standing before her. He was in uniform; commander's pins upon his collar. He wore a grieved expression and Kara immediately knew who this man was. She stood up straight and saluted him. The way your supposed to greet your commanding officer, even if it is your deceased fiance's father. He waved her off and she put down her hand. Both stared at each other. Kara couldn't begin and Bill didn't know where to. Kara moved her lips but found herself speechless.

Bill cleared his throat and began to clean his glasses; a trick to avoid eye contact and break the awkward setting. "You are Lt. Kara Thrace?" He questioned as he continued to rub his shirt across his glasses.

She sighed and tried to search for her lost voice. Quietly, she spoke, "Yes, sir." She looked down to his hands. 

"Zak mentioned you. He spoke highly of you. He wrote me a letter and I was hoping you could explain to me what he meant when he said he had a surprise to tell me." His voice was stern and his eyes calm. He knew what it was but he wanted her to tell him.

"We were..." Her voice trailed off and she crossed her arms, about to begin again. "We were---"

"You were engaged. Weren't you?" 

She cleared her throat once again. Her voice a little louder this time, "Yes. I just...I know it was against.." She turned her head to the wall on her left. She couldn't look him in the eyes.

"He loved you deeply. I can see you felt the same way." Bill looked about ready to break down too. His eyes looked as if he had been crying prior to his arrival on the air base. 

Both of these people, the ones closest to Zak, felt overwhelming guilt for their actions. Kara's guilt came from the "favor" she had done for Zak. She had let him pass and that had been his undoing. She had slept with Lee, his own brother, and that was a betrayal. She had been unfaithful. Her pain was greater because of this. What if she had left him and then he had just died thinking that she never truly cared for him? She had made another mess again. She had frakked up again. What was she going to do about Lee? She cared too much to drag him down with her. Her track record with people was terrible. Her mother dead, her father gone, her lover dead...

Bill's guilt came from the strings he had pulled to even get his son into flight school. He knew Zak was not the best at flying but he had so desparately clung to the dream of seeing both his sons in uniform that he couldn't fathom a world without it. He had bribed people, given money, done things, just to see his son advance and be able to even get permitted that far. Guilt. His guilt came from this. Bill had gotten his son to that point, and Kara's 'impaired' judgement had left them where they were right now. On a base, next to a burned viper, in an awkward conversation.

Kara broke the deafening silence, "This really isn't how I pictured meeting you." She chuckled and lightened the gloomy mood a bit. Her best efforts failed her. Her face fell as fast as the smile had come.

Bill tried to smile too but he found this task difficult. "I would like to talk to you over coffee. I think there are a lot of things we should discuss." He was speaking in a friendly tone. He was trying and Kara saw this. But at the same time, Bill wanted to be closer to this woman. This was the woman Zak had lived the past year of his life with. This was the woman who Zak wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He felt that if he got closer to her, he could get closer to his departed son. He could find the vestiges left and cling onto that. The living will always find it hard to part with the dead. Bill felt even more guilty over his real motives for trying to get closer to Kara. His selfish reason.

"Sure." She smiled but she was trying so hard to just keep it together. A tear fell down her face. A small stream reflecting her guilt.

In this moment, Bill was finally seeing how much Kara had truly cared about his son. This emotion, this pain, it broke him inside. His soul was lying in the morgue on the slab next to Zak's. He stepped closer to Kara and her eyes locked with his. Even if his reason for trying to get closer to her was to feel closer to Zak, he still felt this connection with Kara. A connection he couldn't explain. This hurt little girl already felt like part of his family. He pulled his arms around her and held her in his tight embrace.

Kara too felt this connection to this man. Though they had only just met, he too felt like family to her. "I'm sorry." She pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes. Though Bill assumed she was apologizing over the tears she had just shed, she was really apologizing for being a big factor in Zak's death.

"Don't be. It's okay. I understand." He had been uncertain about asking her a question, but seeing her like this, seeing her now, he knew what to do. "I would like to have you transfer aboard the Battlestar Galactica. I think it may be too much to have to make you work on this base now. I was also thinking about taking a few others such as Karl Agathon."  

What was there left for her now? Her fiance was dead. Her mother had been dead to her long before her actual passing. Lee was a living embodiment of her guilt. Not to mention he was still with Lindsay. Her apartment was crap and wouldn't be missed. The air base housed too many memories that she knew would haunt her. She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. "Yes, sir. I'd like to join the Galactica crew."

Tags: adama, battlestar, bill, bsg, fanfic, galactica, kara, starbuck, thrace

The faces were swept over with fear as the metal feet clapped the dirt ground. Not a person spoke. Everyone stood in horror. Everyone cowered or was overcome with shock. Always a possibility but never did anyone think it would come to pass. Cylon occupation. Extermination: an almost certain end for all trapped on New Caprica now. New Caprica had been the place of promise, the paradise land with dreary skies and unbearably cold weather. It was their safe haven, despite its unappealing qualities. It was a place to call home and that was enough for the people who had spent years confined to the inside of ships with dull gray walls and constant night skies. This place had become home and this home had enemies stepping upon its soil.

Centurions now paraded through the street, the light of the sun reflecting off their metal exterior. No one dared to try anything right now for it would probably result in someone's untimely death. This someone would probably be human rather than toaster. The only noise was that of shallow breathing and the zooming raiders that flew overhead in the cloudy skies. They were trapped. They were in a hopeless position. Fight and die. Live and suffer. The only options. Everyone on New Caprica knew that the silent skies could only mean that Galactica and the rest of the fleet jumped to safety. Over 30,000 men, women, and children were now in the hands of the cylons. This place once called home was now enemy terroritory. They were no longer safe. They were behind enemy lines.

Kara had rushed out of the grounded raptor when she heard the beeping of the com. link indicating that the comms were being jammed. Her eyes closed as she cringed to the familiar noise of the cylon raiders overhead. It had been a year, but the noise to her was like that of nails on a chalkboard. She stood out by the dirt path and watched as the things she had for so long wanted dead, now stood before her. She looked at them with distaste, disgust, hate. These things were evil. Sin. They committed genocide and tried to wipe out her entire race. She despised them and all they stood for. She had been in their hands before and she swore she would never be again. Too bad some higher power had a different plan. Too bad fate works to its own will and cares not for the wishes of others.

Chief Tyrol and his very pregnant wife, Cally, came and stood beside the hate-consumed Kara. He saw her and knew exactly was she was thinking. Cally clutched her belly and looked on at the terrible sight. Tyrol had let himself go. He had a very scruffy beard and now wore glasses. He had been, for the past few months, the head of a workers union. He detested President Gaius Baltar and how he mistreated the working class. Now it seemed he would take the role of a leader of the Resistance; fighting the good fight. He knew that war never ends. The effects of war linger on and you can not truly rid yourself of your problems by hiding and running away. You must face up to the things you've done. There'll come a day when you can't hide anymore. That day was today.

"What do you want to do, Captain?" Tyrol looked on and watched as Kara stood, her eyes focused intently on the chrome toasters walking before her. She spoke in a deadly, serious tone, "Fight em' till we can't." The centurions marched forward. Then the skinjobs came out. These machines that pretended to be human. These things that altered their appearance to decieve the humans. They were the most pathetic of beings. Unable to cope with the reality that they are machines and they are not, and will never be, human. They walk. They talk. They bleed. They sweat. But they'll never be human. They are programmed. They follow the orders of one another, unable to make a decision on their own. Their free will is wasted. Without free will, can you truly call yourself human? Can you even pretend? The worst deception is self-deception.

Ellen and Tigh were standing on the other side of the path, looking on in the same shock as everyone else. Tigh wore the same face as Kara. His eyes narrowed in on his enemy targets. What he wouldn't do for a gun. He wished he could blow these frakkers away, but his wish was going unanswered. The Six model was walking with a Sharon model, paying no attention to the angry and terrified faces of the people. Saul held Ellen closer to him as she covered mouth with her hand. Am I the luckiest man in the universe or what? I come to New Caprica the day of the cylon occupation...Gods, I could use a drink. Tigh began to turn away with Ellen and head back to a tent when something grabbed him on the shoulder.

Shocked, Tigh turned around to see a Sharon and Doral model standing before him. He laughed at them and waited for them to say something. He just laughed at them. They saw the humans as inferior but he saw the cylons as nothing more than broken toys. "Well, what the frak do you want?" He said between laughs.

Sharon looked down at the ground and Doral smiled. "We'd like you to come with us." He remained completely, eerily calm.

"I don't give a frak about what you like." Tigh turned around and grabbed Ellen's hand. He started to walk away when Doral grabbed him by the shoulder again.

"Well I don't care. Your coming with us." He smiled at Tigh.

Sharon raised her head. She turned her eyes to Tigh and frowned. "Look, just come peacefully. We really don't need innocent blood shed today. Okay?" She crossed her arms and stared at him.

Ellen held Saul's hand tighter and a tear fell from her eye. "No, Saul. No." She began to cry.

He lifted her cheek and smiled. "I'm not going anywhere." Suddenly, Doral punched Tigh in the stomache and motioned for one of the centurions to come over. Saul was on his knees with his hands in the dirt. He began to cough and he glared up at Doral. "What the frak do you expect me to tell you?" 

"Where Galactica went. We know that you and your best friend probably worked out some plan in case we ever found you. We want to know what the plan is." Doral picked Saul off the ground and pushed him into the centurion. "Don't hurt him too much. Have him detained."

"Where?" Sharon questioned. "We have no where to put him." 

"The centurions have already been ordered to begin creating holding cells. It shouldn't take them too long to have them done. Have him held by Colonial One where Caprica Six and D'Anna will decide where to put him." He smiled at the centurion as the centurion placed it's cold metal hands around Saul's arms.

"There really was no plan." He laughed as he lied through his teeth.

"NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM!" Ellen begged them. Doral hit her and knocked her out.

"We'll just see about that." Doral motioned to the centurion. "Take him away." 

Sharon and Doral watched as Saul was "escorted" away. Sharon turned and looked at Doral with sad eyes. "What?" He questioned.

"Do you really think we should be here? They hate us. They'll never want to co-exist. They want us dead and they want to live. I say this is frakking pointless." Sharon turned her head away.

Doral sighed. "Quite possibly."

"Did you see the way they looked at us? Their eyes were filled with anger. All of them would kill us if given the chance." 

"Yes, but we are in control here. Don't worry." Doral smiled at Sharon and both he and her walked off.

Kara, Tyrol, and Cally had re-entered the tent where Chief had been inciting a riot only an hour earlier. None of them had seen what had happed with Tigh and Ellen. Kara sat down on a bench and clasped her hands together. Her mind was racing. She couldn't form a thought. All she wanted to do was kill all the chrome domes. Chief was holding Cally and frowning. Cally looked up at Tyrol and with sorrowful eyes, she spoke, "What are we going to do?" 

"I don't know." Chief looked over at Kara. "What are we going to do?"

Kara turned her eyes towards Tyrol and Cally and shrugged. "I don't know. We don't know how many baseships there are, how many centurions and skin jobs are here, or what they want."

"They're probably going to kill us all." Cally looked at Kara.

"No. If they wanted to do that, they wouldn't have bothered to land here. They would have just blown us away without a moment's hesitation." Kara began trying to think.

"We could try and see if we can get a hold of Galactica." Tyrol suggested.

"No. The centurions blocked off communications already." Kara sighed.

"Frak." Tyrol turned his back to Kara and leaned against a chair. "What if we get Sam, his friends from the Caprica Resistance, and whatever marines we have down here, and try to come up with a plan?"

Kara's face fell. "Sam." She muttered under her breath. She quickly got up from her bench and ran out of the tent. How could I have forgotten? He's sick. He's stuck in bed. Defenseless. Kara ran hurriedly through the street, almost to the tent she shared with Sam. Her mind was racing. Everything felt as if it were going in slow motion. Time had come to a sudden halt. Her breathing was louder, her heart pounding. She arrived at her tent and burst through it. Sam was laying on the bed and a man stood beside him.

"Hello, Kara." He smiled and turned to face her.

"Leoben..." She turned to try and leave the tent but two centurions came and blocked her path. 

"Stick around, Starbuck."

Tags: battlestar galactica, bsg, cally, chief, cylon, ellen, kara, leoben, occupation, sam, saul, thrace, tigh, tyrol

Kara's eyes showed her complete devastation. Her eyes echoed her sorrow and pain. She feel down upon the floor and broke down. Tears flowed down her face like streams to which nothing could stop. Helo kneeled down beside Kara and hugged her tightly. A tear fell from his eye at the sight of seeing Kara, the frak up, loud mouth, unafraid of anything, breaking down and crying. He leaned in and hugged Kara. At first it was not wholehearted but then he held her tighter. She slowly put her hands upon his back and returned the hug.

He backed away and looked her in the eyes, his face showing his sympathy. Kara was his best friend. He hated seeing her hurt so much. Zak had become a friend of his over time too. His untimely death brought much sorrow with it. A black cloud hung over everyone in the base and the thunder had yet to begin. The rain had yet to fall. Helo had seen all the people trying to console her with words but all were shot down. With the sincerest voice he could muster, he spoke, "I'm truly sorry, Kara."

She looked down at the cold concrete ground as the knuckledraggers pulled out Zak's dead body from the crashed and burned viper. She whimpered and turned her eyes away. Tears fell faster and she turned her head down to the ground; her hair falling into her face. The viper had come in too hot. There was no way to stop it. Kara was forced to stand there, powerless. The sight of his dead body too much for her to handle. Helo placed her cheek into his chest and tried to console her.

He sighed slowly. "Listen, Kara. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You couldn't have helped him. Don't blame yourself for this tragedy. The gods do everything for a reason. We may not see it, but there is one."

Kara wanted to smack Helo. She looked up at him with grief stricken eyes. "But, it was my fault." She turned her head away from him in shame.

Helo gave her a puzzled look. He didn't understand what she had said. What does she mean? He knew this wasn't the time to ask though, not when she was clearly grieving.

A woman walked over to them. A fresh face. One unseen. Someone new. Kara wiped away her tears and picked herself up off the floor. She and Helo turned in her direction. Helo was stunned by her beauty, immediately attracted. The woman tried to smile but given the situation, eh found it hard to smile.

She cleared her throat and extended her hand to them, waiting for someone to take it. Kara just stared at her. Helo saw her reaction and immediately shook her hand. She smiled and spoke, "My name is Sharon Valerii. I've just been assigned to the battlestar Galactica." She looked at both of them, waiting for a response. Silence.

Helo broke it. He cleared his throat, "My name is Karl. Karl Agathon. My callsign is Helo."

"Did you say Galactica?" Kara inquired. Her mind rememberd Bill Adama, Zak's and Lee's father who was recently reassigned to be in command of the Battlestar Galactica. He had been in command of the Valkarie but the reason he had been reassigned remained unknown. No one except his superior officers knew why he had been "demoted" to working on Galactica.

Sharon looked at Kara, "Are you Kara Thrace?" She looked sympathetically at Kara. She could tell by Kara's reaction to the sound of the name Kara Thrace, she was her. "Bill Adama is here. He has requested a meeting with you." Sharon saw Bill Adama and walked with Helo out of the area. Bill steadily approached her...

Tags: adama, admiral, agathon, battlestar galactica, bill, boomer, bsg, fanfic, helo, kara, karl, sharon, starbuck, thrace, valerii

Kara laid down in the bed of grass with her eyes turned up to the sparkling stars. Her bare body sunk deep into the ground and a wide smile crossed her face. She turned her eyes to Lee who was staring at her intently, his eyes full of satisfaction and love. He ran his fingers through her hair and rested his hand on her cheek. She rolled over and laid her head down on his chest. This moment screaming infedelities.

Kara closed her eyes and whispered softly as if the trees were listening to this stolen moment, "I'll leave him..." Her relaxed face tensed up a bit as she pressed her sweet lips into the palm of his hand and kissed it tenderly. She opened her eyes and looked in him. She wasn't looking at him for she saw right through him. She saw him stripped, bare...and not just in this such literal sense. She saw who he was without the rank and title before the name. She saw beyond the barriers he had created. She even thought that maybe, just maybe, he could break down the walls she had built to defend herself. Emotion was weakness. At least these were the words Kara was brought up with.

She felt guilty though. She loved Zak but she didn't know what she should do. Her mind kept saying Zak but her heart kept screaming Lee. Could she do that to either of them? Could she betray Zak by being in a relationship with Lee...his brother? Sex was one thing. It was not exclusive, it was rule bending. A relationship was more. It had more meaning. By taking that step of committment, she would completely devastate Zak. But were she to do this and abandon Lee, she would hurt not only him, but herself too. She couldn't help but feel that if she stayed with Zak, she would always wonder "what if". 

Lee grinned at her and softly pressed his lips upon hers. He bent his head down towards her ear and whispered, "I love you." Kara smiled and Lee kissed her ear. She was candy in his mouth. A drug with one touch an addiction. This would never end, no matter  the fight or the hate that existed. A love that was more than love. It was attraction, it was sex, it was passion, it was destruction. They could overcome the world, but could they overcome each other?

Kara looked to the stars, her mind wandering as her eyes jumped from each sparkling star. Each star a choice and a possible outcome. Some brighter than others. She had decided she was going to be with Lee. "I'm going to tell Zak after he passes his flight exam." She smiled wider. "And I love you, too." Some of the stars were prettier than the others. The infinite possibilities.

Tags: adama, apollo, battlestar galactica, bsg, fanfic, kara, lee, starbuck, the way things weren't, thrace

Kara had told Zak she was called to the base to assist in some unfinished business and she would be back as soon as possible. This was a lie. She was sitting on a park swing, swinging back and forth slowly. The only noise was the creaking of the rusty chains rubbing up against the metal pole holding it up. Her feet gently grazed the dirt below as she went up, and went down. She wrapped her fingers around the cold metal chains and sighed, unsure if Lee was still going to come. 

She wanted to blame herself for where she was today. For all she had done, she believed this is where she should be. She was her own disaster and this was the mess that she had left for herself. Her love stained hurricane had ceased yet arisen as quickly as it had died. She didn't want to hurt anyone so instead she chose to hurt herself. Yet she had never realized a simple fact, that by hurting yourself, you hurt all who love you. She was finally coming to see that this war within of head vs. heart was going to end tragically for one side no matter what. Were she to choose Lee, she would crush Zak. Were she to choose Zak, it was destroy Lee. In this time of silent thought, she came to a conclusion, who could she not bear to lose more? Who would she be devastated to lose? And if both of them loved her like they say they did, they would accept the choice she had made. They would allow her to move on with the decision she had chosen. They would be happy for her because if by hurting yourself hurts the ones who care about you, then when you are happy, if they truly love you, they will be happy with you; despite the sorrow they may feel by your passing or letting them go. And so by this thought, she had chosen who it was she was going to leave behind, and who she was going to be with.

She heard something rustle the bushes to the left of where she sat. A cold breeze flew by and blew her hair into her face. She turned in the direction of the noise and saw Lee. He slowly walked over and sat on the swing beside Kara; the entire time their eyes were locked. The swing made a squeaking noise as he sat down upon it. Kara softly pressed her feet into the ground and stopped her swinging. She turned her body a bit to face Lee and looked him in the eyes. It was dark, but she could still make out his angelic face. She could still see his beautiful eyes. She watched him intently as the air began to fill up with tension, the way it always did when these two were anywhere together.

Lee reached over and put his hand on Kara's and smiled. She was taken aback, but immediately returned the smile. Her eyes turned down to their locked hands. He looked away from her, "Do you love him, Kara?"

She looked back up at him and frowned. A conversation she had dreaded but knew was inevitable.  "Yes." She spoke truth. She did love Zak. She didn't want to but she did. Lee's face fell into a sorrowed expression. Kara placed her other hand that was holding the chain upon his cheek and smiled, "But not like I love you. Never like I love you." Lee smiled at her. He stood up and moved closer to her swing. Silence. No exchange of words. He simply stared at her, looking into her soul. It is said that the eyes are the portal to the soul. When Lee looked into her eyes, she became transparent, easier to understand; easier to see. 

He leaned in closer to her and placed his hands upon the sides of her warm, rosy cheeks. He froze before going in to kiss, breathing her in before he tasted. This long awaited want coming to be fulfilled. To him, it was always a dream destroyed when awoken. He wanted this moment to last. He closed his eyes and opened them slowly. This was not a dream. This was not an illusion, a fantasy. It was reality. It was Kara. It was him. It was passion, pain, love, destruction, deciet, lies, hurt, and pleasure wrapped up into a beautiful disaster. A runaway train whose carnage was unappealing yet unresistable. He leaned in farther, his soft lips tenderly kissing hers. Their tongues locked and the sparks flew. 

The cold air became hot. Kara wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and looked up at him, the passion rising in the air. He lifted her up off the swing, and supported her up. She continued to look at him, the lines had been crossed. Every warning sign was being ignored and every wall had fallen. The year she had spent trying to forget only made his reappearance all the more difficult. She lowered her head and kissed him as he placed his other hand on the pole to keep balance. She pulled away and smiled coyly at him. Her face came closer and her tongue came out. She licked him along the cheek and whispered in his ear, "I guess some things never change." 

He smiled and moved his face to her ear and whispered in reply, "Some things never will." He kissed her ear softly and playfully bit it. Kara let out a giggle and began to kiss his neck , her mouth like a parasite, clinging onto him and sucking off him. She made her way to his shirt and smiled. 

"Put me down for a sec." She grinned. Lee gave her a confused look and let her down. "Raise you arms." He was the puppet, going along for the thrill. She was the pupeteer, pulling his strings. She lifted his shirt up over his head and tossed it into the grass. Her hands touched his muscular chest and her claws came out. She scratched his sides all the way down until she reached the rim of his pants. Her fingers moved, centimeter by centimeter, closely approaching the button. She got down on her knees and unzipped the zipper of his pants. She demurely looked up at him, her pretense being that she was innocent. This pretense shattered as she quickly pulled down his pants. He looked down at her, smiling. She pulled down his boxers and saw the "Arrow of Apollo" looking back at her. 

"I feel cheated." Lee pretended to pout. 

Kara kneeled, shocked. "How so?"

He smiled, "Well here, I am, completely naked and yet you still have on all your clothes." He laughed.

She stood up and moved in closer to him, her body closely approaching contact. Her body pressed into his as she kissed him from his chest on down. Her mouth slowly inching from spot to spot, coming closer and closer to the "arrow". Her lips arrived and she wrapped her lips around the tip of the arrow. God-like, erect, tough. She moved her lips farther and farther, his arrow going deeper and deeper into her mouth. Lee looked up to the stars a look of bliss crossed over his face. She moved his lips back across his "arrow" and breathed in hard as Lee began to breathe deeper and faster. She smiled and playfully bit him a bit. Not hard enough to cause pain but enough for Lee to break out of state of euphoria with a shock.

Kara looked up at him and and smiled. He looked down at her with a funny face. "So, Lee, that make us equal?" She giggled.

Lee moved his hands to her waist and lifted up her shirt and tossed it into the ground beside his own. He smiled at her. "I love you, Kara Thrace." 

She smiled up at him. "I love you, Lee Adama." The lust had left and the love had re-entered. He got onto his knees and pulled her closer to him. He gently pressed his lips upon her stomache and sucked on her like a leech. She smiled and laughed. His lips were tickling her. He moved his fingers to her pants and slowly unbuttoned and unzipped them. His fingers pulled down her pants and he smiled and stood back up. 

He lifted her up on top of him and laid her down onto the grass, the passion moving in the air. The patience was gone. This was a long awaited moment, the distant dream. It was finally coming true and time no longer existed. In this moment, it was only them. He kissed her exposed neck like a vampire. Attacking her, loving her. He moved his hands upon her warm, ample breasts and grinned. He laid down on top of her and pushed himself into her body.  His "arrow" burrowing deeper and deeper. Her mouth opened and a sigh of pleasure came out. She dug her nails down into his back as ecstasy overcame her face. 

She kissed him passionately as he continued to ride her up and down. Her tongue plunging deeper and deeper into his throat as he worked his way farther and farther, faster and faster into her. Her nails drove deeper into his back the harder he came. Lee kissed her neck and smiled down at her. She let out another sigh between breaths as the pleasure overcame her. 

The cracked glass completely shattered.

T.B.C. =P

Tags: adama, apollo, battlestar galactica, bsg, fanfic, kara, lee, smut, starbuck, the way things weren't, thrace

Kara was in ready position, ready to take on Zak in a game of football. She smiled devilishly. I'm going to kick his frakking ass. Bring it. She was laughing in her mind. She already knew she was going to win, even if he didn't go easy. He better not go easy, I'm not. She placed her hand in the grass and waited for him to move. 

He laughed at how competitive she was getting. She is totally going to try and kill me out there. Let's see her try. He smiled at her and winked. He stood there a second and paused. 

Kara grew impatient, "Hey, stop stalling. Just accept that your going to get murdered out there and start the frakking game." She laughed and he shook his head. He took off running and Kara immediately rammed herself into him, tackling him before he could get three steps out of his starting position. She grabbed her shoulder in pain.

"FRAK!" Kara gripped it tighter, her shoulder throbbing in her hand.

"Gods, what the frak are you made of? Gods...."Zak clutched his side, trying to laugh but immediately hurting. Kara dropped on top of him and smiled. He placed his palm on her cheek as she laid her head down upon his chest. They laid there in the soft grass, staring up at the blue sky and lovely clouds.

"I love you." She grinned.

Zak laughed. "Well, right now, I'm still in pain." She laughed. "But I love you too.

Kara got up off him and found Lee standing behind her. He stood with an expression of longing on his face. His face immediately showed how unhappy he was and Kara frowned. She stopped laughing. "Hi, Lee." She didn't dare try to hug him and was afraid to extend out her hand and have it rejected.

Lee stepped closer and Kara couldn't breathe. Suffocating. Though they were apart, it was like there was no distance. In their time apart, she had fallen for Zak but at the same time, she continued to love and long for Lee. Breath escaped her. She was drowning on dry land. She was drowning in him. His prescence was bringing her up but crushing her. This ghost of a good thing resurfacing once again. He suddenly hugged her in his tight embrace. A smile crossed both their faces. Lee whispered in her ear, "Hi, Kara."

Zak got up off the ground and brushed himself off. "Hey, Lee." Zak smiled at his brother and placed his hands upon Kara's waist. A hint of jealousy crossed Lee's face. Kara put on a fake smile as Zak kissed her on the cheek.

"How are you?" Lee stared intently at Kara. Fixated on the face he hadn't seen in a year. "Both of you?" Lee broke his eye contact with her and turned to look at Zak.

"Well...actually..." Zak trailed off. He cleared his throat and started again, "I have my final flight test on Thursday so I may finally be a certified viper pilot. Kara already cleared me for flight status but the other flight instructors are just going to verify my qualifications." He smiled. "I already sent dad a letter alluding to this, but I'm just gonna tell you. Kara and I are getting married." He smiled at his brother.

Lee's face fell. He couldn't breathe. This suffocation quite different from the one he had experienced with Kara. His eyes showed his sorrow as he bored holes into Kara. His eyes like daggers, piercing and ripping her apart. "Congradulations." He put on a fake smile that immediately fell. 

"Hey, let's take a picture." Zak ran over and grabbed the camera from their bag. Kara tossed Lee the football and frowned.

She spoke quietly to him, "Meet me here. Tonight. We need to talk." Her eyes serious.

Lee sighed. "Okay."

Zak asked a woman if she would take a picture for them and she agreed. He gave her the camera and rushed back over to Lee and Kara. Zak came back and wrapped himself around Kara. Lee stood with the football in his hand and a tense smile. Kara pretended to be happy though inside, she was breaking. The woman Zak had handed the camera to took the picture and handed both the picture and the camera to Kara. She looked at it and broke. She was falling for Lee again. The walls were deteriorating. The glass was cracking.

Tags: adama, apollo, battlestar galactica, bsg, fanfic, kara, lee, starbuck, the way things weren't, thrace, zak

(Side note: A year has passed since the last part)

The day after Kara and Lee silently parted ways, Lee had been reassigned to another base. Kara didn't know whether this was his choice or if he had been given orders to do so. She never saw him after that day so she never had the chance to ask him. Lindsey left a month or so later, leaving the base for Zak and Kara to destroy. A year had past since that day in the parking lot and so many things had changed.

Kara hadn't seen or spoken to Lee since the day in the parking lot. She always thought about calling him, thought about talking to him, but then she would hang up the phone. The fear of rejection too great for her. Sometimes, she would wonder if she ever crossed his mind, but then this thought would leave hers. Zak moved in with Kara seven months after Lee was reassigned. Three months after that, he proposed to her. They had grown closer and Kara had let down some of the walls she had built to let love in. 

Zak saw Lee every once in a while and offered for Kara to come along but she always stayed at her apartment. She was usually painting or writing poetry, her guilty pleasures. When Zak mentioned Lee, she'd act like she didn't care when really, her heart skipped beats and her mind raced. She'd try to change the topic or she'd lean in and kiss him so he would shut up.

Kara was sitting down on her couch and looking up at the ceiling. "How about, 'Hey dad, going to get break a lot of rules and regulations but I'm going to get married to my hot ass flight instructor. Hope you don't mind.'" Kara laughed and Zak chuckled.

Zak was holding a pen, trying to think up what to tell his dad. He had mentioned he was seeing someone, but he had yet to tell his dad who she was and what it was she did. "Uh, how about no?" She turned her eyes to him and saw him smile.

Kara stood up and walked over to where Zak was sitting. She pushed back his chair and sat down upon his lap. She gently placed her hads behind his head and grinned. Zak smiled wider, "Don't know how this'll help me write the letter." He breathed her in, breathing in her sweetness. "More of a distraction...don't you say?" He closed his eyes and put his lips to her ear.

"Hmmm. I'd say so." She smiled coyly. "Why haven't you told your dad already? You've had the time."

Zak sighed, "See, I thought you were the one who wanted to keep everything quiet because of military regulations forbidding such things..." He laughed.

"Yeah, but I don't want to send the Commander an invitation to our wedding when he doesn't know who I am or anything about me. Don't know how well that would go over." She tried to keep a straight face but started laughing.

"Well, I'm sure my dad will love you. Always said how much he had always wanted a daughter in the family. Plus, how could he resist your lovely eyes? Your beautiful smile...Your gorgeous hair." Zak ran his hand through her blonde hair. "Your soft touch." He softly kissed her hands.

"No offense, but I don't want to touch your dad like that." Kara and Zak laughed in unison. Then the awkward silence set in at the thought. Zak put on a disgusted face and Kara coughed. 

"Anyways...you are going to invite your dad?" Zak saw Kara's face immediately fall.

"Uh, no." She looked away from him and pulled back a bit.

"Oh, I just thought...I mean, you play his piano tape. I just thought..." His voice trailed off at the end.

"I just--I can't." She sighed.

"Your mother?"

Kara's face suddenly turned from sorrow to anger. "She's dead."

Zak felt as if he'd just started walking over thin ice. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm not." She smiled and kissed him.

"Well, I'm going to write this letter to my dad. Lee wanted to see me sometime. Catch up, you know?" Kara looked down. "I thought we could tell him...together. It would mean a lot to me." He lifted her chin up so she would look at him.

Kara's mind was racing. She cleared her throat and smiled. "Okay. We both have the day off tomorrow. Maybe he could go meet up with us at Caprica City Park and we could play football. Have a picnic." Her smile was falling but she remained calm.

"Okay. I'll call him later." He quickly kissed Kara and went to finish writing his letter.

That glass, that fragile wall that separated her from Lee was slowly cracking. Each moment another broken shard. The boundaries they had made were about to be crossed and every red line she had made was about to be destroyed. The glass was going to shatter.

Tags: adama, apollo, battlestar galactica, bsg, fanfic, kara, starbuck, the way things weren't, thrace, zak